Friday, March 12, 2010

Can You Help This Mom? Inappropriate Figure Skating Music

This question comes from, um, a friend. Not me. A friend. Let's call her, um, Mice Mom, er, Nice Mom.

So. Nice Mom's husband wants, um Nice Girl, to figure skate to some music that Nice Mom and Nice Girl think is just...wrong.

Ice Dad, I mean, Nice Dad says that we spend so much money on figure skating that he deserves to pick Nice Girl's figure skating music just once. This is something we have to, I mean Nice Mom and Nice Girl have to really consider because Nice Dad deserves a voice in her music, too.

Help me. I mean, help my friend.

Suggestion #1: Theme song from Curb Your Enthusiasm.

For those of you who are not familiar with the HBO show from Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm is about a clueless idiot, Larry, who says naughty things to nice people. He is socially inappropriate and not a role model, Ice Dad. I mean, Nice Dad.


Click here to listen to the theme song. It's heavy on the tuba and is just...wrong...


Suggestion #2: Theme song from Dexter.

Showtime's TV show, Dexter, is about a serial killer who kills serial killers. Despite the violent theme, I really, really like this show.

However, Nice Dad, that does not mean that a serial killer's theme song should be used as your daughter's figure skating music!

Click here to listen to the theme song and watch the opening credits.

Suggestion #3: Theme song from Halloween.

Halloween is the scariest horror movie of all time, in my opinion. I don't watch horror movies, but just listening to the music completely creeps me out.

Click here to listen to the theme song.

So. Help me out here, people. I mean, help out Nice Mom. We all know that these songs are not appropriate figure skating music. Let's come up with a ton of reasons why Nice Dad is totally wrong. Please.

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65 comments:

Anonymous said...

IMHO ice skating music needs a place to have a spiral sequence, a place to build up to a jump, a place for the footwork sequence, and a place to spin. Whether the source is a horror movie or not doesn't matter.

That's assuming the skater is a grownup.

I could easily see curb your enthusiasm being edited into a humorous program (if you went to the original source music ). It would work best for a male skater. Picture Scott Hamilton skating to it. The other two were so bland there would be no relation to the music and what is going on on the ice.

When I saw "inappropriate" I thought you were thinking something entirely different. Which, sadly we have all seen. The young skater out there with a song beyond her years

Ice Mom said...

Hi, Anony.

Scott Hamilton could certainly pull off Curb Your Enthusiasm music. Ice Girl? Not so much.

I think you're right, though. There's the other end of the spectrum where little girls vamp it up - very inappropriate.

Thanks for the comment!

Ice Mom

jumpingbeanmom said...

Ice Girl, oops, I mean Nice Girl, doesn't like it is a good enough reaons for me.

Last season, my 9 year old was sort of forced to use music she just hated and didn't really feel she had a choice about, and it wasn't at all good.

Her performance was lackluster and she just hated working on the program all the time.

This year, she was given some choices and is using something she loves and the difference is like night and day.

Jozet at Halushki said...

omg, I'd hate to think what my husband would pick out. Some combination of Massive Attack and Jesus and Mary Chain, I'm sure.

I really like music that is out of the ordinary, but I do agree, some variation is necessary. Right now my daughter is skating to a Shostakovich Waltz that was the theme song for the movie Eyes Wide Shut http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYhZVqODYsI so I don't have too much room to criticize.

Her second choice was the theme from The Matrix (Clubbed to Death). So, you know, don't ask me. ;-)

However, if Ice Dad - I mean Nice Dad - likes those songs, I say go for it! There should be more Adult Pre-Bronze skaters!

jumpingbeanmom said...

This year jumpingbean is using something from Mission Impossible- it is really fitting for her

Anonymous said...

Maybe look at the underlying themes in the music Nice Dad picked? I see he likes mandolin/guitar music, so why not look for some flamenco guitar music? You could even look at some of the music from the Zorro movies. As for Halloween, there is a similar song called tubular bells (I think that's the title) by a band called Book of Love. I see why his choices are questionable. You might also look at some of the music from Tango Argentino. That soundtrack has a tango version of Jalousie which was the theme of some gangster movie (Scarface or The Godfather, not sure which one). Also have Nice Dad listen to Escala. They have an instrumental version of Kashmir featuring Slash that is pretty cool and not your normal skating music. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

My husband thinks a Johnny Cash song ring of fire might be approprite. use an orange red flame dress, with orange and red crystals..... priceless.

My Ice girl promptly refused.

Ice Mom said...

You people are way too nice to Nice Dad.

I thought you'd eat his lunch for suggesting serial killer/horror movie music.

Do not give my husband credit for being a music lover. That's not it. He just thinks it would be subversively funny.

I mean my friend's husband.

Ice Mom

jumpingbeanmom said...

Johnny Cash? LOL!

My husband keeps trying to get her to use 'Skating Away' by Jethro Tull because well, he used the word skating- how do I put an eye roll in here??

mama helada said...

Yeah, well my husband thinks our ice girl should skate to some music to show off her heritage - nice idea - except what he's referring to is regional Mexican music - heavy on the accordian, tuba, and inappropriate lyrics (even if they are in Spanish). My daughter gave him The Look, and told him he was not funny.

So, I think Ice Dad's - er, I mean, Nice Dad's choices are not that bad. :)

However, in all fairness, if Ice Girl doesn't like them, she shouldn't skate to them.

Helicopter Mom said...

Easy! As the first poster said, there are very specific demands of skating music - a slow part, a faster part, a place for a build... I personally love the Curb Your Enthusiasm music, but it's too much the same. My husband is a big classical music buff but he has a tendency to pick music he loves, rather than music really suited for skating. Secondly, if the skater doesn't love it, the skater shouldn't use it. That's one of my favorite things about my daughter's coach. Not only doesn't he force her to use music she doesn't like, he talks to her when I'm not around to make sure it wasn't really ME who picked it. But I hate to have to dismiss music because of the source... OR to be required to costume because of the source. Last year one of my daughter's choices was from the movie ROMANCING THE STONE. She didn't end up picking it but I did worry about how that would work... I'm happy to hear that Jozet at Halushki is taking the chance and choosing interesting music regardless of the source!

Xan said...

Put the music on a "sample tape" with another piece that Ice Dad, um Mice Dad, um that guy likes, plus one that Mice Girl likes, plus one that you, I mean, the mom likes. Give the sample tape to the coach and let the coach choose. Then you all have to abide by the decision. You can tell the coach who chose which music, but you can't stack the deck by editorializing.

Anonymous said...

Nice Dad gets applause for wanting to be involved with Nice Girl's figure skating. Although, in this case and based on those horrendous music choices I just heard, Nice Mom needs to put her foot down and tell Nice Dad to get back to doing his yard work. The situation reminds me of those Dads who try to go clothes shopping for their teenage daughters and not having any clue about the latest in teen fashion. Very bad idea.

Jillybean said...

ofFirst, the most important thing about a skater's music is that they must absolutely LOVE IT!
If Nice girl doesn't LOVE the music, she might not skate her best.
Wouldn't Nice dad feel really bad if his daughter didn't skate well because she didn't like her music? (especially if it happened to be a piece that he chose?)

I actually liked the first piece, however, I think it would be more suitable for a younger skater, I do think it could be really fun for a comedy type showcase program.
The second piece was OK, however, it kind of droned on.....and on......and on........

I think it would put the judges to sleep.

Would Ice....I mean Nice dad want the judges to fall asleep while she's skating???

Back in the olden days when I was skating, there was a girl at our rink that skated to the beginning of the Halloween theme. It actually worked for her. It was just for a while in the beginning, and then cut into another piece, then a slow part and a completely different ending. I think it could work, but only if Nice girl really likes it.

MER11 said...

I was kind of liking Nice Dad's creative thinking, until I got to the Halloween suggestion. If I were at a skating competition and that song came on, I'd burst into frightened tears! Oh wait...IG could scare the bejesus out of her competitors! Nice Dad is BRILLIANT! :-)

Ice Mom said...

Hello, Mer11!

Thanks for the comment. I hope he doesn't take that brilliant comment to heart.

Ice Mom

Ice Mom said...

OMG, Anony!

Ring of fire! Your daughter dodged a bullet, I'm telling you.

Ice Mom

Ice Mom said...

Thank you, Jumpingbeanmom, for your level-headed rational thinking.

See that, Nice Dad? Jumpingbeanmom wants Nice Girl to succeed and feel confident when she skates.

She's not out to laugh herself silly in the stands, Nice Dad.

Ice Mom

Ice Mom said...

Hi, Anony.

You wrote:

Maybe look at the underlying themes in the music Nice Dad picked?

I'm telling you: the man doesn't care about music. He likes the idea of our kid skating beautifully to murder music.

The theme is: sophomoric.

Thanks for giving him credit for being some sort of music lover. That man listens to talk radio and boring books on CD.

You are very generous to him. He wants to dress the kid in a blood-spatter dress: white with red crystals.

Ice Mom

Ice Mom said...

Hi, Anony.

Ha! It is sweet that Nice Dad wants to be involved in Nice Girl's skating.

But you're right. His talents lie elsewhere. And you're right: the yard looks terrible. Get to work, Nice Dad!

Ice Mom

Ice Mom said...

Hi, Jillybean!

Someone pulled off Halloween? No! This is terrible.

The conversation will go like this:
"Well, other skaters have done it. Why not this music?"

Ugh. I agree, she has to love the music. Imagine how embarrassed the poor kid will be at practice ice when her music plays. It will shatter her self-confidence and we'll have to take her to a therapist! Think of the money, Nice Dad!

Ice Mom

Ice Mom said...

Ha! Jozet! I told Nice Dad on the phone that you recommended that he skate to this music.

He said we can only afford one skater.

Still, pretty funny, Jozet!

Ice Mom

Ice Mom said...

Mama helada -

Great. A Mexican version of my husband. If the song had naughty words, he'd like it even more.

You're generous with your assessment of Nice Dad's musical choices. They're terrible, mama, terrible!

By the way - love your name!

Ice Mom

Ice Mom said...

Xan, as always, you are a genius: let the coach take the heat for the decision.

That's why I like you so much, oh, wise one!

Ice Mom

Ice Mom said...

Thank you Helicopter, for your elegant comment:

if the skater doesn't love it, the skater shouldn't use it

*Ahem.* Nice Dad? See?

Ice Mom

Anonymous said...

All I ask is for one song choice. It isn't just for me. It is for all (N)iceDads everywhere. Tramping it up is creepy, so until the skaters are at least in their 20s, at least let us dads have some fun with it. :)

Anonymous said...

I kind of like the white with the red crystals blood spatter idea, but maybe to something the skater likes...Twilight...vampirish...there is some fun

Anonymous said...

Give it up (N)ice Dad. The blogging community has spoken and you have been demoted to yard duty on this one. See you on the sidelines...

Jozet at Halushki said...

"I'm telling you: the man doesn't care about music. He likes the idea of our kid skating beautifully to murder music."

I literally LOLed at that! *snort*

Nicole said...

wow, ummmmm i dont like any of them their awful!maybe for a boy skater,and thats a strong MAYBE!!well i personally like the lord of the dance music,my favorite on the track is siamsa.and the other is the dragonheart soundtrack,and i really like the song einon,its really really good.anywho good luck!

nicole said...

oo and i forgot, that song einon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QE69-ys7kU

its also from dragonheart.

Purple Stinky Onion said...

Dear Ice Mom,
I am a new reader to your blog and I absolute love it:) I have so many questions for you I would never no wear to begin...but that is for another time.

I think it is wonderful that Nice Dad or possible Ice Dad, wants to be involved in this music process, but I do have to agree with many of the other comments, that if Nice Girl(IceGirl) is not into the music, she may lack in her performance which is something I'm sure he, she and you or your possible friend, would not be happy with.

But there are endless possiblities because there is so much and many types of music to choose from, I'm sure that "your friend"/Nice Dad and Nice Girl could come up with a compromise.

My husband and I have such a wide variety of musical tastes, along with the input of our child(ren), I sure would not want to be in your place at this time. While my husband may want more of the Oldies, but Goodies, me I would be voting for some hard core metal banging craziness. A little instrumental Pink Floyd would work for me, but my daughter would be eye rolling too:)
Best of Luck,
I love the blog!!!

Purple Stinky Onion
PSO

Elisabeth said...

Personally, I don't think the music itself is inappropriate (okay, well, Halloween kind of is) but the THEMES behind the music, the shows they're from, is definitely inappropriate. There is bound to be a parent or *gasp* another skater who recognizes the music at each competition or even the rink which could raise eyebrows for sure.

I think Nice Dad has a point though, he pays for a lot of it, he should have some say. If he really wants to pick some of her music, have Nice Girl pick out a few she likes and let him get the final pick.

If Nice Girl doesn't like the music her father is suggesting, she shouldn't feel guilted into skating to it to make him happy. As her father, he should be understanding in that regard. And suffice it to say, HE is the adult and Nice Girl is the child.

That's my two cents! :-)

Update us on what happens, eh?

Elisabeth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MB Niedermier said...

My husband would love those songs. I think he gets tired of hearing the same music at competitions and at the rink.

We had a halloween exhibition and we had a skater pick the halloween music. The skaters were allowed to pick out there own music and they had a blast.

Suggest to your husband if he organizes an exhibition - you will choose his music. If he is anything like my husband, it will be the end of the discussion!

elle said...

I love Ice Dad ooohh I mean Nice Dad!

Ice Mom said...

I talked to Nice Dad today and he is not impressed with the yard work comments.

I am. They make me very happy, actually.

He also thinks I stacked the deck against him because I mentioned the Halloween film. He tells me that song was just a joke.

And the other two weren't?

He also said that Nice Girl would love the humor in skating to his music because she has a warped sense of humor. He claims that the only reason she's protesting is that it makes him squirm, which she loves more than a good joke.

I actually don't care about the reason, Nice Dad.

Bottom line: Your skater's music should not be a punchline!

I am the only adult in my house. I mean, my friend is the only adult in her house.

Help her.

Ice Mom said...

Hey, PSO!

Thanks for reading! If you have questions, please e-mail them to me at icemom.diane@gmail.com.

As for the headbanging music, well, I think that might be fun.

At least it's not murderous.

Ice Mom

Ice Mom said...

Hi, Nicole!

I like the strong drumbeats in the Einon music you sent.

Whenever I hear music like that I think: Run! They're coming for me! We're all gonna die!

I like it, though. It's good for a powerful skater, I think.

Ice Mom

Ice Mom said...

Thank you, Elisabeth, for your clear and logical thinking. It is obvious that you are a rational human being and a responsible adult.

See, Nice Dad? Your daughter should not be embarrassed to skate to her music.

Ice Mom

Ice Mom said...

Hey, MB Niedermier.

I have a plan: let's send your husband and, er, Nice Dad out for coffee together during competitions. They can have a hearty laugh about Nice Girl's awful music while I sneak down and hand the real music to the referee.

While they're out getting coffee, they can also plan their imaginary exhibition where everyone dresses as zombies and skates to horror film music.

Ice Mom

Ice Mom said...

Oh, Elle, I knew you would love Nice Dad's suggestion.

There's something wrong with you, girl.

Love ya, though, you warped woman.

Ice Mom

falen said...

PSO I suggested to my DD Learning to Fly, but it was a no. BTW, that post with the Vampires was me not Dad. I guess I have to put a tag.

Ice Mom said...

Hey, falen!

I think vampires might work with some kids, but Ice Girl might be the only teen who's not on Team Edward or Team Jacob.

She prefers Facebook and texting to almost anything else.

Great suggestion, though!

Ice Mom

Nicole said...

ya i like the einon music, but the drums are a little much, so i was thinking to cut out most or all of the drums, i like the beginning and ending parts though:)

Ice Mom said...

Hi, Nicole.

I love the drums. :) We have a kid at our rink who skates to the theme song to the latest Transformers movie.

I keep telling her to skate faster because they're after her! OMG! They're coming! Go, skater, go! Faster!

She thinks I'm nuts.

Ice Mom

Anonymous said...

I skated for 12 years growing up and never once got to pick my own music. I often dreamed about skating to a number of pieces of music I fell in love with, but never had the chance as my dad or coach always chose my music. When I was about 9 or 10, I told my coach I wanted to skate to a certain song. This was just for a low freestyle ISI thing, and she said no because she thought that song had been done too often. I still wish I could have had a chance to skate to it. I think that the skater should be very involved with picking what music he/she skates to because if you don't really love the music, it will be much more difficult to express your love for skating through the music.

Anonymous said...

When nice dad is finished with the yardwork, perhaps he should do some laundry and dishes.

Ice Mom said...

Hey, Anony.

Sorry you were never able to pick your own music. I think skaters should have a voice in the process, too, but that's something that parents/coaches/skaters need to sit down and talk about.

Ice Mom

Ice Mom said...

Anony:

You, too, are a smart and reasonable human being. I can always tell.

Take note, Nice Dad! Yard, dishes, laundry! You obviously have too much time on your hands if you're snorting and laughing about music.

Ice Mom

bethalice said...

The first two are too repetitive (I would never have recognized the music though). The last one is just creepy - I am with you on that one!

Angie said...

I agree with those who say the skater needs to like the music. My skater has always had a hand in helping to choose her music but she's never actually heard a song and told us(her coach and myself) that she wants to skate to it. UNTIL Christmas. She recieved a CD from her uncle and fell in LOVE with a song in it. It is now her new artistic music and let me tell you... how much she enjoys this song comes through in her skating! So, I think it is really important for the song to not only be appropriate for the age of the skater, but the skater needs to completely feel the music too.

As for the inappropriate stuff I have seen at competition... I think the most inappropriate song was a canibal song used as a showcase! The skater was maybe 12! Blech.

Ice Mom said...

Hey, bethalice.

Yeah. Lousy, creepy music. Good thing we're not changing I.G.'s music very soon!

IceMom

Ice Mom said...

Angie:

A 12-year-old cannibal? You must share what the cannibal was wearing. What kind of skating dress does a cannibal wear?

Please share. Really.

Ice Mom

bethalice said...

My daughter has picked music for the next season, and it may be inappropriate in another way - it is very powerful music, and her skating personality is not that. It would be a challenge. Waiting on coach's opinion on it.

BTW, it is music from a druggie movie over a decade ago. I did NOT know that, until I researched it (after reading your article). I figure that any negative connotations are automatically erased after a decade. Note to ice dad, err, nice dad, Halloween does not count, it is the exception! LOL

Anonymous said...

My suggestion would be to give icedad/nicedad a list of songs that would be appropriate and ask him to pick the songs that he likes the best. If you and your daughter agree with his choice than you have a new song to skate too.
My suggestion would be the theme music to the ABC shoe Eli Stone. If you watched the Olympics this year there was a skater who skated to this music. It is fun and it's actually instrumental versions or George Michael hits. Let me know if this helps. Seasonedsk8rmom

Ice Mom said...

Season,

Once again you show your brilliance. (N)ice Dad can choose from possibilities. Very diplomatic.

Ice Mom

Ice Mom said...

Just letting you all know:

Nice Dad is in denial. Despite your experience and the evidence in these comments, he insists that his music would be both awesome and funny.

He is not interested in yard work. He's pouting.

Ice Mom

Angie said...

ice mom....

re: the canibal song. The girl was dressed up almost like a cave person. She had a culdron pot with skulls on a stick that she "stirred". Odd thing is, I wasn't playing exact attention to the lyrics until another mom I was skating nesr pointed them out! I saw her skate to that song twice and I haven't seen it since. I am hoping they retired the song! It's kinda creepy IMO!

Angie said...

umm... I suppose I shoul;d proof read before I post! LOL. I was actually sitting next to the mom, NOT skating. LOL!!! Oh boy!

Ice Mom said...

You were sitting next to the cannibal's mom, Angie? That's too much.

Poor kid, though: cave man and skulls.

That would not be funny, Nice Dad!

Ice Mom

Anonymous said...

Poor icedad/nicedad, he just wants to be loved and appreciated for he musical expertice. With love and support I'm sure he will be more agreeable to diplomacy.

I also like the idea of leaving the final decision to icecoach. This will be an avenue to resolve this matter that icedad/nicedad can not refute or deny. He may go in his mancave and like his wounds for a little while but he will come out and be the loving and supportive icedad that you know and love.
seasonedsk8rmom:)

Ice Mom said...

Season, you are way too kind to Nice Dad. He's all about the punchline, that man. :)

I also love passing the buck to Nice Coach. Pay her to take the heat.

BTW, how did you know Ice Dad has a cave? We call him Cave Troll.

But in a nice way.

Ice Mom

Mom of 2 Skaters said...

Well this is a fun debate because I have a husband who thinks he's a lot funnier than he actually is and a daughter who occasionally comes up with off the wall program ideas herself (i.e. dressing as a spider skating to Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" with a little one dressed up as a fly, no it didn't happen but the coach actually considered it because it was such a funny idea).

Anyways, you can leave it to the coach (which we all know will be a no) he can laugh that it would be a funny program idea when she is older and into gothic herself (could do the music from Sweeney Todd with your husband's blood spatters as represented by red crytals idea) and then let it go.

We all love to talk about those pieces of music that would be a tad warped or funny to use but when it comes right down to it they skate to music that feels right to them whether it be classical, jazz, or a little bit of rock and roll. Either way they have to actually skate a program to it and they will get dinged in choreography marks if it doesn't work. It is amazing what can work but if the skater says no way...c'est la vie (N)Ice Dad.

Ice Mom said...

Hi, Mom of 2 Skaters.

Why do they think they're funny? Who is giving them encouragement?

Nice Dad is not funny. His thing is saying naughty things to nice people. That's it. It's all about shock and awe.

*Grumble.*

Thanks for the comment. We should have lunch sometime. :)

Ice Mom