How-to: Display Figure Skating Medals

Reader Anonymous sent me a comment:

[...] I was wondering how you display Ice Girl's medals. My daughter has been skating for a few years now but I have yet to think of a good way to display her medals. What do you think? Thanks!

As you can see from the photo, this is how we display Ice Girl's medals.

I bought this wooden skate at a competition for an unbelievable price: $12. I wish I had bought two. The gal who made it had her husband cut the skate out of wood with his jigsaw. She sanded it, painted it, added wooden pegs to the front, and hooks on the back for wall hanging.

If you don't have a husband with a jigsaw, you can still accomplish this same thing pretty inexpensively. Craft stores carry ready-made boards with pegs on them. Paint, add hanging hardware, and display.

The whole project, including paint and hardware, should set you back maybe $10 - $12.

Update: A fabulous DIY renovation project from Advisory Board member, figure skating parent to an Olympian, and Life on the Edge blogger Allison Scott: One of the things that we used to do (though now it is totally impractical after 20+ years of medals) is to frame the top ones with the competition programs. Please note: If your skater stays in the sport for a long time and succeeds, you may be able to take each of those frames, cement them together and build an addition to your house – a little DIY recycling project that could help your bank account! 

What do you do with your skater's medals? How do you display the trophies? Please share your ideas in the comments!

As always, if you have a question for Ice Mom or the Advisory Board, please send it to me! If you have an idea for a post or would like to write a guest post, please let me know, too! E-mail me at icemom.diane@gmail.com. 

Ice Mom’s Sewing Guide: Laying out the Pattern

This post is part of Ice Mom's Sewing Guide.
Other posts in this series: All about Patterns, All about Fabrics, How to Dye Silk for Fabric Skating Skirts, Altering Your Growing Skater's Figure Skating Dress, Laying out the Pattern.

Laying out and cutting the pattern will take you longer than any other step. However, if your layout and cutting are terrible, the dress isn’t going to look right. Resign yourself to taking a long time with this process.

Before beginning this step, you should have prepared your pattern. If you haven’t, please read Ice Mom’s Sewing Guide: All about Patterns.

My set-up: I have a folding cut-out table on casters in my front room. I push the coffee table out of the center of the room, settle my dog and his dog bed by the door, wheel my cutting table in front of the wide-screen TV, and pop a DVD in the player (my preference: Dexter. Serial killing goes well with pinning and cutting.) I have two high wooden stools and I place them on either side of the table. A glass of iced tea and I’m set for two hours.

I know a very good seamstress who lays out and cuts patterns on her vinyl floor. That sounds uncomfortable to me. I used my kitchen table for years (rectangle are much better than round). I really like my white folding cut-out table, though, because it’s countertop height and it folds up so I can hide it behind the sofa. No stooping over the table to cut or pin. The table set me back $50; normally, it’s $100, but I had a half-price coupon at the fabric store.

You will need:

• Fabric, pre-washed (if washable)
• Pattern pieces (that you’ve traced and fitted)
• Sharp pins (dull ones snag, especially on Lycra)
• A long, wide table that you don’t mind nicked up
• Sharp fabric shears
• Sharp fabric snips
• Tailor’s chalk or disappearing ink fabric pen
• Iron and ironing board
• Flexible measuring tape

Iron everything. Be sure that your iron is set to a low setting for most of your ironing. Lycra is a synthetic and it will melt like plastic under a hot iron. It will stick to your iron plate and make a messy goo. This is experience talking here, people. If your iron’s too hot, but you haven’t melted your fabric, you run the risk of leaving the impression of your iron plate on the fabric – think Shroud of Turin, but for irons.

If you’re ironing velvet or anything with a pile (like panné, Polartec brand polar fleece, or velour), iron on the back side of the fabric, again to avoid that unattractive Iron Shroud of Turin effect.

It’s a fantastic idea to fold your fabric precisely in half as you iron, selvage edge to selvage edge. You want a line down the middle for the next step.

Put the fabric on the table. This might seem deadly obvious, but it’s not. Often pattern instructions don’t tell you how to orient the fabric on the table so you’ll be able to cut out all of the fabric pieces and not need more fabric.

For figure skating outfits, lay the fabric on the table, wrong side up with the ironed crease running down the table’s center and the selvage edges hanging over the sides. Bring the selvage edges up to the folded center so that the two selvage edges are touching. When you look at the fabric, you should see this: long fold, selvage edge at the center, opposite selvage edge at the center, long fold. At either end are two layers of cut edges.

You’re orienting the fabric in this manner so that you have more folds to work with. You also want to keep the fabric straight. You’ll orient your fabric parallel to the selvage edges, so you want to make sure that the fabric underneath is not crooked. Crooked fabric doesn’t lie well on the body.

Deal out the fabric pieces. Place the ironed pattern pieces on the fabric. If you see a straight line with two arrows on a pattern piece, that means that you’ll need to lay that piece out parallel to the selvage edges. If you see a line and arrows pointing to the cut edge of the fabric, that means to lay it out with the edge on the fold. Double-check what your pattern pieces are telling you, too. They’ll tell you if you need to cut on the fold or not. They’ll also tell you if you need one or two of the pieces.

I always orient my pattern pieces in the same direction. In other words, the tops of all the pattern pieces point the same way. This is a wise idea for fabrics with a pile or nap, like velvet. You know how velvet looks different from one direction to another? Yep. That’s why I lay all pattern pieces in the same direction, even if the fabric doesn’t have a nap.

It’s perfectly fine to turn a pattern piece wrong side up. That won’t affect anything.

Once you have all of your pieces in place on the fabric and you’re sure that you can cut them out without buying more fabric, you’re ready to pin.

Pin the fold lines and the grain lines first. I always start with pinning the fold lines first so the fabric doesn't shift around. I pin the pattern to the fabric parallel to the fold line and make sure that the fold line of the pattern matches the foldline of the fabric exactly.

For those of you who have never pinned before, there’s a trick to it. Begin stabbing the pattern and fabric at a 45-degree angle. When you hit the table, bring the pin back up at a 135-degree angle (the other 45-degree angle). If you’ve never pinned before, this will seem to take ages. Don’t worry – you’ll get better at it.

Next, pin down the grain lines. The grain line is the straight line with a error at both ends. Make sure this line is parallel to the selvages. Pin one end of the grain line to the fabric, keeping the pattern straight. With your measuring tape, measure the distance from the pinned part of the line to the selvage edge. Slide the tape measure down the line. Adjust the pattern piece so that the grain line end is at the same measurement as the first grain line end. Pin in place.

Smooth out and pin. Working parallel from your fold line or grain line pins, smooth out the pattern gently over the fabric and pin in place, parallel to the pattern edge about ¼ - ½ inch from the edge. You’re just smoothing things out here, you’re not stretching anything. Pin the entire pattern in place, making sure that the corners are tacked down.

That’s it for the layout post. Next post, we’ll cut!

Update: From reader Beth: When sewing on woven (non-stretchy) fabrics, the grainline (arrow on pattern pieces) should be parallel to the selvages. On stretchy fabrics the arrow follows the greatest degree of stretch in the fabric. Depending on the fabric, the grainline will be either parallel to or perpendicular to the selvage. On the disappearing ink or water soluble pens, always test on a scrap of fabric and never iron over those marks or they may become permanent. Don't ask how I know this. 
Note from Ice Mom: Ugh. Don't ask how I know it, either.

Update: From reader Silver Blades who cautions sewers against letting excess fabric hang off the cutting table: I also forgot to mention two things about cutting out stretch fabrics. Do NOT let the fabric dangle over the edge of the cutting surface! It will stretch prior to cutting and once you cut the piece it will spring back and be too small. Yes, I have done this. I now pull up a chair or stool to the edge of the table or neatly fold the excess up at the table edge so it is not pulling itself out of shape.

Do you have any questions about this process? Better yet, did I leave something out? Even better: do you have a fabulous tip? Please write about it in the comments!

Have a question for Ice Mom and the Advisory Board? Do you have an idea for a post? Would you like to write a guest post? That's fabulous! E-mail me at icemom.diane@gmail.com.

Can You Help this Mom? Figure Skating Music That's NOT for Princesses

As always the readers are very generous with their music ideas. Check out the comments for great suggestions!
 
I cracked up in my cubicle when I received this plea:

[I need] age-appropriate music and costumes that aren’t Disney!



[Dear daughter] is 7, turning 8 next year, and competing in Canada at a fairly low level [...] The time has come to choreograph a new program and DD’s [dear daughter's] coach ( who we love ) loves Disney.

I cannot do Disney any more. And at every competition there are several girls skating to various Disney Princess songs. Ugh.


I would love other suggestions because if I don’t up with one, she’s going to be skating to Disney. Again.

I suggested that DD skate to a Disney villain, because I think that Cruella deVil on the medal stand with Snow White and the Little Mermaid would crack me up. Man, I need more coffee. Or less.

Can you help this mom? If you have music suggestions, please put them in the comments. And, for the love of Pete, not The Candy Man or Puff the Magic Dragon. We can't have everyone at the rink try to break the kid's CD. She'll cry.

Do you have a question for Ice Mom or the Advisory Board? Do you have an idea for a post? Better yet, are you an expert at something - like airbrushing dresses (hint, hint)? Why not write a guest post? E-mail me at icemom.diane@gmail.com

Ask the Ice Moms: Why Do Coaches and Parents Have an Adversarial Relationship?

This question comes from reader E.L.W. She’s frustrated because she observes that parents and coaches at her rink aren’t communicating effectively with one another. Here’s a bit of her e-mail:

My daughter isn’t only in ice skating (Basic Skills 7) - she is in a few other things like piano and school. What I find interesting is that her other teachers give the parents assistance in helping their child learn new skills, whether that be a checklist of what music exercises she should practice at home during the week or for that matter, homework. 

I took piano for 12 years.  I would never have shown up to a lesson without taking the time to practice during the week.  I took that practice mentality to figure skating only to find that something else seems to be going on.  I don’t know what exactly but here it is.

The ice skating coach has mentioned NOTHING for her to do between lessons.  It is rare if one of them deigns to speak to the parent.  The child is supposed to come out on the ice and wait until the coach finishes with the child before her and when that lesson ends there is another child waiting in the wings. 
This doesn't make sense to me.  I'm paying for her to be learning - not just for the joy of writing checks.

Ouch. Sounds like E.L.W. is pretty upset.

Here’s what the ice moms on the board have to say:

From Xan, who is a coach, a figure skating parent of a Jr. Nationals competitior, an adult skater, and the blogger at Xanboni!:

Perhaps they could ask the coach to choreograph a short number incorporating all the skills she's working on. Then she could practice that. This makes the practice seem more fun and she doesn't have to remember skill to skill, if she just skates the program she'll be using her skills.  The mom should also sit down with the coach every 4-6 weeks and ask for a progress report and a practice guide. There is often no time during lessons to do this, and no time between lessons for the conversation, which is a drag, but also a reality. Coach is probably more uncommunicative than is strictly diplomatic, but as you say this may be the culture at the rink, and the exigencies of the schedule.

From PairsMom, whose son and his partner won Jr. Nationals in Intermediate pairs December 2009:

Parents, Coaches, and skater must all be part of the same team.  If you do not feel that this is happening, try to communicate with the parents/skater, and if after time nothing has changed, then it is time to move on. There are plenty of coaches and hopefully there is one available at your rink that will guide your child towards success and enjoyment of the sport.

Talk to the skating director at your rink to see what the expectations are for that particular program. Ask her for suggestions on how to get the most out of it to benefit your child; it is YOUR money and YOU are your child's ADVOCATE in this situation.

From Ateam on the Edge, the parent of a skater son, mom of a skater Olympian, and blogger at Life on the Edge:

This is a classic struggle for control and it seems to be prevalent throughout skating. We saw it at the Basic Skills level and we saw it up until about a year ago.

Without going into detail, the one thing a parent has to remember is that the coach is an employee, not an employer. You pay the bills, and as it is in any workplace, there is a little matter of accountability. I think the biggest issue is that parents don’t set the ground rules early on. My suggestion: Have a serious conversation before a single blade hits the ice in a lesson. Outline a cooperative plan for communication (a “business plan,” if you will); do a “90 day review;” expect a year-end meeting and evaluation, goals setting for the coming year and a regular schedule of meetings. That doesn’t mean that a parent can intrude on a coach’s private time, make a ton of late-night phone calls or spam the coach with emails. A smart coach will value his or her time and charge an overbearing parent for that time at the same rate as he or she charges for lesson time. That’s just good business. A great plan, set and agreed to in advance, can avoid all that anyway.

I am not suggesting that this has to be adversarial at all. View it like any other vendor you employ and put in charge of something you value – in this case, your child. You wouldn’t turn your car over to a mechanic without knowing what to expect. You wouldn’t turn your business over to a manager without accountability and a plan in place. Why, then, would you turn your child over to a coach, who will be a huge influence on them both on and off the ice, without a business agreement and a plan of action? Proper planning produces preferred results with a minimum of misunderstanding and missed communication.

From C.L., a parent of a 9-year-old figure skater:

Switch coaches and rinks :) or she could ask her coach to put together a non-lesson practice sheet for her daughter. For example, type of skill and number of times she should practice it, for each non-lesson time. Also, an off ice pilates/yoga/stretching checklist would be helpful too.

From S.F.:

Does the skater have a notebook/spiral notebook for the coach to make a few notes on during the lesson? Then the skater would know what to practice before her next lesson and mom would have some info about what happened during the lesson. One tactic I have used until I get to know the coach is not hand the check to  Amy. This forces the coach to come off the ice to get their check. The parent then has an brief opportunity to speak with the coach.  

From Kel, a parent of a 9-year-old figure skater:

When we started with my daughter's coach, she actually gave her a binder which included her on- and off-ice practice lists, a tab for competitions, a tab for ice contracts.  I wonder if the parent has directly asked the coach what the student should be doing between lessons.  Perhaps, this coach does not frequently deal with newer skaters that would need this kind of guidance?  I can imagine that someone that more regularly deals with higher level skaters would not have provided my skater the same attention.  I'd just talk with the coach and tell her what you think your skater needs -- give her notice that you want a few minutes so she has time to talk.  Nothing worse than a parent that demands a bunch of attention when the coach has ten other things she needs to be tending to...

From S.G., whose daughter switched coaches last year. It was awkward.

I have learned from experience that when hiring a coach for your child you need to interview them first. And, yes, you are hiring them. How do they teach? Is there teaching style compatible with your child's? What do they expect from you as a parent and what do you expect from them as coaches? If they are not meeting your expectations, then you need to communicate with them. A majority of the time it will not be right after or before a lesson. You may have to call or E mail them. If you do this and things still do not get better, then you may need to find another coach for your child. With each experience you learn quickly what is important to you and your child. It is easier to be proactive rather then reactive. Good Luck!

From Ice Mom:

I know of a coach who makes a list of skills for the skater to work on. If the skater is a pre-reader, she includes photos. She takes the photos from competitions, prints them out, and shows the skater visually what to do.

As far at the communication problem, I have no idea why the coaches at your rink won't talk to parents. I know of a few coaches like that, but for the most part, coaches in the clubs Ice Girl skates in communicate with parents. It sounds like a rink culture thing, which is too bad. I would suggest breaking that unspoken rule and pretending you don't know it exists. After all, you're paying for this.

Update: From Sk8rmom, who is a genius. Want to switch coaches in a classy way? Scroll down the comments, find hers, and read the whole thing. It's terrific.
 
Update:  Great advice from reader jumpingbeanmom: Go ahead and ask! I do know that some coaches like to talk via phone etc. if they have back to back students. If you don't get the attention you think you and your skater should get, look for another coach. My girls have notebooks as well as a whole book of stuff from their coach with practice expectations and the like.

Update: From reader Idratherbeontheice who had a difficult coach. Or two: I don't want to sound too harsh, but I had a two coaches like that once, and me and my mom have both found that just getting a new coach is the best solution. My mom tried talking to them, talking to the head coach at my rink, and all other sorts of things, but it didn't help very much. We finally changed coaches twice, and lucked out with my current coach. Altogether, we've found that with some coaches, talking doesn't make a big difference.

Update: From reader Anonymous who thinks many coaches are divas: I totally agree with this parent. Our daughter is also in other activities and sports and none of our sports/arts experiences has been anything like skating. I am totally frustrated with the skating culture. I think skating has an archaic culture which puts the needs of the coaches before the rights of the parents. Figure skating needs to be more attentive to the concerns of the present day consumer.

I think there are a lot of diva coaches which naturally follows from their years of being diva skaters. They don't want to COMMUNICATE with the parents they just want to TELL us what's what. No questions, please, thank you very much.

Update: From Canadian reader Falyn S who is v. satisifed with her daughter's coach: My daughters coach made up a book with a daily practice log (which has everything from off-ice warm up, stroking, spins, jumps, footwork, combos, and solo on it with how many times she should do each session and my daughter checks them off when completed) [...]

Update: From one of my favorite commenters, reader Season Williams, a figure skating mom and an adult skater: Coaches that are worth your time and money will be more than happy to have a meeting with you or speak with you over the phone. If you have a coach who is not willing to speak with you directly (in-person or by phone) than you should consider getting a new coach. 

Do you have any suggestions for this mom? How do you make the practice thing work? How do you make the coach-parent communication thing work? Please include your experiences in the comments!

Do you have a question for Ice Mom and the Advisory Board? Feel free to suggest a topic or write a guest post and share your wisdom, too! E-mail me at icemom.diane@gmail.com.  

Figure Skating Competiton Goodie Bags: What's Cool?

This post is courtesy of Ice Coach, who is pretty much a one-person force behind her Learn to Skate's Basic Skills competition. If any of you has ever put together a competition, you know what a big job it is.

Ice Coach does a great job with it. The competition is known for two things: super cool medals and amazing gift bags.

She's got the medals down pat: they're these neat plexiglass skates with boot details and the competition name etched into them. As I said: super cool.

It's the gift bags she's struggling with this year. She included a figure skating book last year and the obligatory gloves, but she's running out of ideas and the competition's coming up soon. She needs to start ordering this stuff!

Update: From reader PrettyBowtie: At my last fun skate, all the "beginner" skaters (as in, this was their first solo skate in public) were given a brooch for their jacket. Gold skater doing a layback for the older skaters and something sparkly with diamontes for the younger ones. Everyone proudly shoved their badge straight onto their jacket.

Update: From reader Cathy: My girl got some leg warmers from mondor in her last competition bag.

Update: From reader Denise: Just a suggestion for the medals--an address label with the event name applied to the back of the medal (or perhaps the ribbon in the case of a plexiglass medal). We have dozens of medals without identification on them. At the time you receive them you think you'll remember what events your kid skated, but you don't. I have tried to go back and mark them but by the time I get around to it, I've forgotten what she skated. Love medals from the competitions that engrave the event on the back of the medal (I know it's pricey but they're permanent). My daughter's synchro team skated at ISI Nationals last year and even their medals weren't marked. Annoying. In 5 years who's going to remember what division and event they skated?

Update: From reader Becky Wright: One of My favorites was a fleece blanket with the club name embroidered on it. My daughters favorite is every Year at the Atlantic City "Sun, Sand and Skate" competition the goodie bag is a sand pail and shovel for the beach. They also go to the casinos for donations so the pail is filled with decks of cards,mints,hand lotions, tissues etc... The girls love it!

Update: From reader Sk8nLane: My daughter was at a basic skills competition and the bag included all the necessities such as lip balm, hand cream, band aids with a holder and, hair tie, tissues etc. In today's economy I think the families may appreciate useful items. I loved having that to replenish her skate bag.

Update: From reader Kate: If somebody has a monogramming sewing machine, you can get fleece blankets at Ikea for like $2. I've done them for wedding favors before. They're darling.

Update: From reader Anonymous. It's clear Anony understands competition chaos: Mini sharpie markers so that the kids can make sure their hard guards have their names (and label bottoms of trophies or backs of medals), coupons for restaurants close to the rink, and zipper pulls are some of the things I've seen that have been handy.

Update: From reader DramaQueen: TISSUES!!!!! I know this sounds weird, but trust me, during practice ice, someones going to get a runny nose.

Update: From reader Anonymous: Towels for drying your skate blades. These, too, can be picked up at a low price and get someone you know or a business to monogram them at a reduced price or for free!

Update: From Advisory Board member Jillybean (Ice Girl agrees: candy!): I just asked my daughter what her favorite goodie bag items have been, she first answered "candy!" She did say that she likes it when they give her a bottled water. We've seen granola bars, hair stuff and lip balm. One competition we went to gave the kids a small photo album with the name of the competition on it. 

Update: From reader Anonymous: Blister band aids. A disposable camera so the skater can have pictures to remember the day! 

Update: From reader Anonymous who wants us all to remember that boys figure skate, too:
LOL, I would say please don't forget the boys :) DS has gotten M & M lip balm, purses, pink things, I could go on and on LOL. Nothing is more disappointing than getting a goodie bag that nothing in there is appropriate. He's now at the age that he can laugh, but I think it still makes him a little sad. 

Update: It's official. Reader bethalice is a genius. How about a screw driver? DD once had screws in her skates that came loose, so I stuck a screwdriver in her bag. Several times other skaters needed to use it to tighten their screws. Now we just leave it in there. I bet you can get some inexpensive ones from a dollar store. 

What is the coolest thing you've found in a goody bag? Have you ever put one together? What do you include? How about unusual ideas for goodies as well as sources to buy items?

As always, if you have a question for Ice Mom or the Advisory Board, please send it in! If you have an idea for a post or you would like to write a guest post, that's cool, too! E-mail me at icemom.diane@gmail.com.

The Talk: How Much Does Figure Skating Cost? You’re Kidding, Right?

Note from Ice Mom: The comments for this post are amazing! Thanks, readers!

Last week Ice Dad and I had the talk. You know the one: it involves budgets and numbers and bills and holy cow! We spend how much on figure skating?

Yeah, that’s the one - the one with the raised voices and red faces.

I’ll be honest with you: figure skating isn’t cheap. In fact, it’s expensive. I try hard to keep Ice Girl’s total figure skating expenditures to $800/month. If you’re new to figure skating your reaction will be: no way – that’s insane. If you’ve been smelling the Zamboni fumes and shivering in the stands for more than a year your reaction will be: wow – that’s not much.

I know good people, sane people, who spend easily twice what I spend. Three times, even.

Ice Dad’s struggling with the amount of money we spend on it, and I’m in denial.

As you know from a previous post, Ice Dad and I love what the sport has taught Ice Girl. She has drive, ambition, and goals. She is fit, active, and strong. She has a champion attitude and knows how to win and lose with grace. These aren’t just skating skills, these are life skills.

But it’s hard to ignore the fact that we pay $10k/year for those skills.

To that end, you’re going to see a few changes around here. I’ve changed my posting frequency from just once a week to Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I’m working on moving my blog to icemom.net and I’ll be selling some ads, too. (If you’d like to advertise here, let me know!) My goal is to move the site in early April.

I hope you stick with me through the changes. I hope I don’t have to buy ramen noodles by the case.

So, ice parents, here’s the awkward question: have you and your significant other sat down for the talk? Well? How’d it go? I know plenty of gals at the rink who keep their husbands in the dark about their figure skating spending. Are you one of them? How do you justify your ice spending?

Update: From reader Ateam On The Edge, who is an ice mom of an Olympian, and a blogger, too: On the Edge of Skating. You really don't want to know the expense at the elite level. Suffice it to say that we're mortgaged three times, something I do NOT recommend unless you are relatively sure your skater is committed. Be aware that finances is one of the biggest reasons for marriage problems, so tread carefully here.

There is no great amount of support until your skater gets to the medal levels at JNs or Nats in Intermediate or Novice. More financial assistance is opening up now, but it is scarce. Check the USFS site for information.

If your skater has started to have a track record of medaling at the non qualifying level, start to explore the New England Amateur Figure Skating Foundation. They don't have a website, but many skaters (including ours) have been benefiting from this source for years. It requires a lot of proactive work on your part.

Write them for a brochure to see how it works:
NEASF P.O. Box 6881; Providence, RI 02940. NOTE: You do NOT need to live in the Northeast.

Update: From reader Helicopter Mom, whose husband did a double-take. Helicopter Mom has a blog, too: The Life and Times of a Helicopter Mom. Once, at a family function, my cousin told us how much they spend on "club soccer" and I countered with something like "That's nothing, we spend over $100 a week on skating" and my husband spins around and says "What?!" to which I responded "Approximately..." or something equally inane. To be honest, I think we spend about half of what you do, but with the economy the way it is now, even that is a struggle. And money we probably shouldn't be spending. But how do you stop spending it when you see the results?

Update: From reader Anonymous who homeschools her figure skater and has found the only bargain ice time I have ever heard of: [...] our figure skater would not be able to skate if she went to school because the cost would skyrocket. We are able to take her to public skating from 11-1 every weekday at a cost of $2 a day...we get 10hrs. of ice time for $10!!

Update: From reader Sk8nLane who avoids talking about expenses with other people: My biggest challenge is when I am asked by people outside the family about the expenses. I want to give an honest response, but also do not want to share details. We have 3 very dedicated skaters in our club and each family travels to get what they need when it is not available here. We have all chose to do this for our children, but many do not understand why we would make this choice if we are not raising an Olympian. So rather than discuss why I usually try to avoid the conversations.

Update: From reader Xan, who is a figure skating parent, coach, and adult skater. Xan's blog is Xanboni!: I'm not sure to this day (3 years after the competitive career ended) that DH is aware what figure skating cost. I still feel kind of guilty about it. The year she went to Jr Nats, we did in fact end up taking out a home equity loan. But I cringe when I hear about parents who do that BEFORE the competitive success comes.

Update: From reader Jozet at Halushki: The hard part for us is that with three children - all extremely talented and amazing, of course ;-) - we don't always spread the money around evenly, just as we can't always spread our time among them evenly. Sometimes one gets a little more for a while, and then another gets put on hold while the other sibling gets resources of time, money, and attention. It's a balancing act, and we're hoping more than counting on the fact that we're getting it right

Update: From reader Barbara, a new skating mom: My husband is "Ice Dad." He takes the girls to practice and classes, so he is very aware of the cost. We discuss, frequently right now, how far to go with this. They are both preparing for their FS1 test, so I expect they will be FS2 by the end of the month. We hope that they will want to continue to move forward (one is a bit more inclined than the other), and more than that, I hope we can continue to afford the cost of skating. [...] We are at about a $100 a week. Each. Not counting skates. Or dresses. Uh, oh.

Update: From reader PrettyBowtie: A coach I know competed at nationals/worlds/winter olympics with her brother when she was a teenager. They had no idea how much the sport cost their parents- including their marriage. She had the "aha" moment in her 20's and is still trying to work off the guilt that the sport she loves cost her mum so much (she's in her 40's now and is still going).

Update: From reader Mike McGuire who seems to be channeling my husband. I'm telling you, I thought it was Ice Dad at first: Wow - I am somewhat in shock at the people that haven't had a true discussion about expenses with their spouse. My first question would be "How would you feel if you found out he had a $10k per year habit?"

Update: From reader Renee: The best advice I ever heard from a skating mom who has seen it all and done it all in this sport: "Skating is a wonderful sport, but no gold medal is worth it if you as a parent end up in either bankruptcy court or divorce court." That thought put skating in perspective for me and my parents and it's advice I dole out to skating parents often!  

Update: From Advisory Board member and parent of a Junior Nationals gold medal winner, PairsMom: Here are some ways that our figure skating "family" at the rink saves money because we all know that this sport is outrageously expensive, although I've talked to some hockey moms and in most cases, they have us beat as far as cost, so we press on. Here is my list and if this is not going on at your rink among your child's coaches or other kids your child's age then YOU could probably get it started.

1. Travel together to share costs; hotel, rent cars, you CAN make it work. For longer competitions (3 nights or more) - get the kitchen and split between 2 families it's worth it!
2. We pass down skating practice wear and competition dresses, trade dresses if you have one that your skater is not wearing.
3. Become an ice monitor if your rink allows you to get a credit for your ice time.
4. Resell the skates and if that is not possible, resell the blades.
5. Volunteer on the club board, some clubs offer a discount on club membership for volunteer hours.
6. Have your skater save their money from birthdays, holidays, or small jobs to help pay for competition "goodies" like the tshirt/sweatshirt or maybe they could pay for a portion of their practice clothes or new skates.

Update: From reader jumpingbeanmom: My hubby hates what it costs- I keep a fund for sports from my paycheck into a separate account to pay, so he is not completely (but somewhat) aware of the cost. I also travel for my job, so am fortunate enough to get many free hotel rooms for competitions from my points. We don't eat out, drive old cars, and I pack lunch and dinner almost ALL the time. All our extra money goes to this sport. I am sure we pay close to $1000 a month for the youngest competitive skater.

Update: From reader Alice in Wonderland who wants to leave the amount she spends on skating down the rabbit hole: Never saw so many comments so quickly! I'm getting a good chuckle out of it all. I'm a numbers person, and just finished producing all my quicken reports for annual tax time, and guess what annual cost I avoided...yes, skating.

Update: From StupidDad, who sounds so much like Ice Dad that I wet myself: I am proud of what my daughter has accomplished in Figure Skating. She is talented and works very hard. However, I am not proud of this Sports at all. I feel ASHAMED and STUPID when I mentioned to people that I spent $800/month for a Sport/Hobby!

Update: From Kates, a former skater and current coach: My dad always knew how much we were paying, but I always knew that I'd get less guilt if I asked my mom to write the checks.[...] Ultimately, the final word from my mom was that it was worth it for my mental health. She remembers how miserable I'd be on Sundays before going back to school, and how going to ice dance in the afternoon would bring me back cheerful and happy. 

Update: From reader Anonymous who paid her way through skating: From my experiences currently and as a teenager I would highly recommend making your skater financially responsible for their skating. Having to pay for it myself made me realize how precious my lessons and ice time were and are, and make me use them wisely. I also realize what I am/was sacrificing in order to skate.

Update: From reader Jumpingbeanmom: I know college is important, but can you really put a price on something that gives you confidence, perseverence and all the other experiences of skating? There is nothing wrong with going to a less expensive local college since the money was spent on skating

Let us know in the comments how the talk went. Really, it’s O.K. We’re all friends here and it’s perfectly fine to comment as Anonymous. You might even feel good about admitting just how much you spend and how much you hide under the rug. I promise that your husband won’t hear about your spending from me.

Have a question for Ice Mom or the Advisory Board? Are you an expert and would love to share what you know? Is there a post you want to suggest? Great! E-mail me at icemom.diane@gmail.com.

Figure Skating Summer Camp Survey

It's nearly spring and time to start looking at figure skating summer camps.

The trouble, as I'm sure you've noticed, is that parents have no idea which figure skating summer camp would be the best fit for their child.

To end the confusion and to lend some order to the chaos I've created a camp survey.

Please consider this an invitation to take the survey and help other ice parents choose a summer camp intelligently. To my skater readers - yes, you can fill out the survey, too!

Link to Ice Mom's Figure Skating Summer Camp Survey

Thanks in advance for your help! I'll keep the survey open until the end of March and share the results with everyone in April.

Had a good camp experience? Had a lousy one? Please fill out the survey and leave a comment here, too. Let's share our knowledge!

Update: Reader, coach, figure skating parent, and adult skater Xan of Xanboni! makes an excellent point. So excellent, in fact, that I'm going make it big and change the wording on the survey to include her suggestion:

Don't forget to check out the many excellent day camp-style figure skating camps run by many local and municipal ice rinks, as well. Cheaper, closer, less intense.

Update/Note from Ice Mom: A survey taker wrote that she (?) was a skater, not a parent. Awesome! Thanks for filling out the survey!

Have a question for Ice Mom and the Advisory Board? Have a great idea for a post? Are you an expert in something that figure skating parents care about! Fabulous! Please e-mail me at icemom.diane@gmail.com.