New to the rink? Learn the rules.

One of the clubs where Ice Girl skates has seen an increase in the number of figure skaters on the ice lately. A local rink is down for repair, so their skaters have been visiting us.

The more the merrier, I say.

Ice Girl agrees in theory, but she complains because the new kids don’t know the rules.

I encourage her to be welcoming, not scowling, but it’s true that skaters who don’t know the rules frustrate those who do.

If you’re new to a rink, here are a few things to do to make sure that skaters smile at you instead of growl.

Visiting figure skaters’ etiquette:

• Check in with the ice monitor. You might not have to check in with the ice monitor at your home rink because everyone knows you there; however, that’s not the case when you’re visiting. Make sure the monitor knows who you are, double-check that you’re contracted, and ask her how the rink works: where the jump corners are, where to do spins, and if there’s a rule about how music is played.



• Move. You might not have so many figure skaters on your home rink as in your host rink. The skaters at your host rink might be way faster than you are. Don’t stand in the middle and look stunned. Keep moving. If you’re not moving, stand at the boards for a very short time. Then move again. It’s a safety thing. Moving targets are harder to hit, so you and other skaters are less likely to go down in a heap of arms and blades.



• Go solo. Do not hang out in a group on the ice. You’re forming a wall and skaters have to skate around you. If you need to talk, do it off to the side.



• Respect the figure skater whose music is playing. At rinks in our area, figure skaters wear an orange vest when they’re skating to their music. Other figure skaters are supposed to move out of the way. It’s both a respect issue and a safety issue. You want skaters to move for you when you do your program, so move when they’re doing theirs. You also don’t want to be the one who causes a skater in her program to crash into you while she’s doing a Lutz or a backwards spiral. She can’t see you. So move.



• Say you’re sorry. Don’t interrupt skaters during their program to apologize for being a speed bump in the middle of their straight-line footwork. At some point, though, acknowledge that you were in the way and apologize for it. Then don’t do it again.



• Smile. This one’s for Ice Girl. People will get in your way, especially when the ice is crowded. Shrug it off and think about how lucky you are to have ice in the first place.



• For host club skaters: Be welcoming. Introduce yourself to the visitors and say something nice. Remember: these kids are bringing more money into your club and are helping keep your ice open. Be grateful. Someday you might be skating on their rink and you want to keep goodwill flowing.

Do you have some visiting skaters’ etiquette tips to share? Put ’em in the comments section!

Do Cold Ice Rinks Stimulate the Bladder?

I was in the stands yesterday with the gals and someone (E.C.) suggested I write about the relationship between cold ice rinks and bladder stimulation.

You’ve got to be kidding me, I said.

No, E.C. insisted. It’s true.

Other moms nodded their heads.

My only opinion about the relationship between ice rinks and nature’s call is that I refuse to use the restrooms in rinks where they're located next to the ice and the heater doesn't work. Yeah. Permafrost.

So, really. Does the cold encourage the bladder to contract? Yep. I couldn’t make this up.

From an article in The Boston Globe:

This is not exactly the most-studied question in medicine, but yes, patients often do report a greater sense of urinary urgency in the winter, doctors say.

"In the olden days, we would have pooh-poohed this question. Now, we're paying attention and trying to see what causes it," says Dr. Pablo Gomery, a urologist at Massachusetts General Hospital. Cold air seems to trigger an increased sense of urgency, he says, though this does not necessarily translate into incontinence.

The article reports that researchers have found that cold weather stimulates animal bladders, too. People also have more urine in winter because the body uses more fluid in the summer.

Alright. What does this mean for the mom in the stands?

• Make your rest stop before you get to the rink. I do that anyway because I don’t like public restrooms, especially those with permafrost.
• Drink less caffeine. Caffeine also stimulates the bladder and the liquid is, well, liquid.
• Stop worrying. Easy for me to say, but worry also causes bladder contractions.
• Stay healthy. Again, easy for me to say, but sneezing and coughing can trigger the bladder, too.
• Stay warm. Hang out in the lobby or bring lots of blankets and a warm coat.

Are we crazy? Have you experienced this phenomenon? You can comment with your suggestions and experiences or just roll your eyes and move on with your life.

Fifty things to do while your kid figure skates

Your kid is on the ice for an hour. What can you do with your time?

1. Wrap yourself in a blanket and watch from the stands.


2. Chat with the other Ice Parents.


3. Play music for the skaters.


4. Walk up and down the bleacher steps (I never do this).


5. Put on skates and give it a try (I don’t do this, either).


6. Exit the rink doors and see what the outside world looks like.


7. Solitaire.


8. Catch up on e-mail.


9. Take an online course.


10. Go grocery shopping.


11. Pick up the dry cleaning.


12. Get your oil changed.


13. Meet someone for coffee.


14. Browse the stacks at the local used book store.


15. Return library books and video rentals before those overdue fines get out of hand again.


16. Heckle (I try not to do too much of this).


17. Plan your kid’s next skating dress.


18. Apply crystals to your kid’s next skating dress.


19. Run to the fabric store. Don’t forget your coupons!


20. Knit or crochet.


21. Facebook.


22. Walk in a botanical garden (pretty and free).


23. Wash your car.


24. Wash your dog.


25. Balance your checkbook.


26. Balance your work and ice schedules.


27. Watch a ball game on TV.


28. Text.


29. Use your cell phone to catch up with mom.


30. Finally put all those photos in a scrapbook or photo album.


31. Read the newspaper.


32. Read a novel.


33. Take photos.


34. Take a video of a jump or spin to give your kid feedback.


35. Avoid gossips.


36. Shiver.


37. Work on hockey-glass communication.


38. Help youngest kid with homework.


39. Arrange a car pool.


40. Check the vending machines for spare change and apply to ice contract.


41. Eat your kid’s stash of pudding and 100-calorie snacks from her cooler.


42. Hide the evidence.


43. Chew gum to mask the pudding-breath smell.


44. Practice your innocent look.


45. Talk to the Zamboni driver and see what’s new at the rink.


46. Share your kid’s 100-calorie snacks with the Zamboni driver. Share your gum, too.


47. Root through the lost and found for your kid’s missing guards, gloves, and champion cords. (If you find Ice Girl’s cords, please let me know.)


48. Make a list.


49. Check it twice.


50. Write a blog post.

How do you spend your rink time? Add to this list in the comments.

Work in Progress: 50 Ways to Leave Your Child’s Figure Skating Coach

Lately, I’ve had a lot of conversations with people about how and why to change figure skating coaches. I don’t bring up the topic – I swear!

I’ve learned a lot and I think a lot of parents would benefit from shared collective wisdom. Here’s a bit for you to contemplate, from Melissa in Florida:

I made the decision to talk to her [the coach] about a month or so ago and she just overlooked my concerns and said I was wrong and that was it. So for the next month or so, I watched other coaches at the rink. I watched their students; I watched how they interacted with each other. I watched how they progressed and if they were having fun. I found two that I felt would work well with a 4-year-old, but still be a forward-thinking coach. One that would be fun, too. (That’s what we all want right?) Well I found one in particular…

Do you have a story about switching coaches that others might find useful? If so, please e-mail it to me at icemom.diane at gmail.com. You can include them in the comments here, too.

I’ll be gathering your stories as well as stories from folks at the rinks where Ice Girl skates. When I have a good stack, I’ll compile them into a useful document that we can all share.

Sure, there are good guides out there for changing coaches (PSA has one), but I think wisdom from blanket-wrapped parents in the cold bleachers is the best kind.

P.S.: Ice Coach? If you’re reading, don’t worry: we’re not leaving you.

What to Wear to a Figure Skating Competition

I was reworking Ice Girl’s sock bun at last Saturday’s Basic Skills competition and teaching another mom the basics of the process when a coach I know overheard me.

Coach was judging at the little competition and my hair demonstration seemed to put a quarter in her. She started to talk in a loud voice and wave her arms a lot.

“You should teach a class,” she said.

I had no idea what she was talking about.

“We need to have a seminar for skating moms so that they know how to dress their kids for a skating competition,” Coach said.

Well, she said a lot more and made some comments about coaches who offer no instruction about what the skater should wear or how the skater’s hair should look.

“Neat,” she said. “I just want neat. Neat hair, neat dress, no laces dangling from the skates. I don’t want to be distracted when I judge.”

This makes sense to me, and I’m sure it makes sense to most readers: skaters should dress in a manner that calls attention to the skating, not to tangled hair.

Skating attire/grooming requirements:
Courtesy mostly of Coach (M.R.)

1. Hair should be neat. A bun is best, but a close second is the ponytail. Don’t leave hair loose and unmanaged.
   
2. Figure skating dresses only. Ice dance dresses are not figure skating dresses, Coach said. The extra fabric might look terrific in a spin, but it hides the skater’s leg positions and ticks off Coach when she judges. I’m sure it ticks off other judges, too.
   
3. Laces should be tucked in. Boots should be tight, not floppy. Laces shouldn’t drag on the ice. Tuck them into the tights.
   
4. Tights in good repair. Over-the-boot, footless, or footed: to a judge, it just doesn’t matter as long as the tights don’t have holes.
   
5. Keep the undies hidden. “I don’t want Dora the Explorer underpants peeking out at me from under a skater’s dress,” Coach said. I don’t blame her.
   
6. Crystals. I couldn’t help but interrupt Coach’s rant and ask: do crystals matter? She looked at me like maybe I wasn’t the person to teach her fictional new skating mom class. “Crystals?” she said in a shrill voice. “I don’t care about crystals.”
   
7. No gloves, no jackets. They’re fine for warm-up, but leave them off the rink when you perform.
   
8. Conservative makeup. “It’s not a beauty pageant,” Coach said. “Why are they sending these little girls out with so much eye makeup?” Well, she said a few other things, too, but the gist of this one was: keep makeup conservative and age-appropriate.

Feel free to add your attire/grooming requirements below. If you think Coach and I are off-base, you can write that, too. I might work up the courage to let her know…someday.

First Figure Skating Competition: Questions and Answers

A guest post, courtesy of reader Alexa and Ice Girl.

From Alexa:

Hi Ice Mom! I love your blog, and check frequently for updates. I am very soon being in my first skating competition and I have some questions I thought you might be able to answer.

From Ice Mom: Hi, Alexa. I'm not a skater, but I know one pretty well, so I passed your questions on to Ice Girl. Good luck with your first competition!

1. What do I wear during my program, gloves, hat, etc?
   From Ice Girl: On practice ice: wear clothes that you would wear at a practice session (gloves, sweat shirt, practice skirt, obviously skates)
   On warm-up: wear your performance outfit, a light, zip-up sweatshirt with no hood (preferably black), and gloves (make sure you have your hair and make-up all done before you go on practice ice!)
   During performance: same thing as the warm-up ice, but without the jacket and gloves.



2. Does my dress have to be a "competition dress"? I have a plain practice dress and I don't want to look weird.
   From Ice Girl: Um... most people have competition dresses, but I think it would be fine if you just wear your practice dress. In my opinion, if you feel comfortable in it and you don’t mind wearing it for your performance, go right ahead and wear it! If you have a coach, make sure he/she agrees with your decision.



3. How do I skate on to the ice before my program and how do I bow or curtsy at the end of my program?
   From Ice Girl: Before: skate with your arms out and palms facing up (attracts the audience) with a big smile on your face. This makes you look strong, confident, and like you're ready to have fun, which is what it’s all about.
   After (bowing): after your finished, you can skate to the center if you wish, face the judges, and do a small bow with a smile and then turn around and do the same to the audience. If you have ever seen Olympians or professional performers, they do the same sorta thing.



4. Is it strange that my coach hasn't told me any of this? I’m a newbie to this competition thing and she doesn't seem to understand that. We have not been informed on many things, which is very annoying.
   From Ice Girl: Hmm...I don’t know exactly. I always confront my coach if I’m concerned about something. I suggest you ask your coach about all the things you are asking us. The best answers about these kind of things would come from your coach.



5. How do awards work?
   From Ice Girl: There are certain elements that a skater is required to perform in each level. You’re judged on how well you perform and how accurately you complete each element. Getting awards: smile for pictures and be very subtle if you get 1st place (at least until you are away from your competitors, then feel free to do a happy dance or squeal if you wish), but again ask your coach about these things if my answers are not answering your questions. I bet you'll do great!!!!!
   
   From Ice Mom: at the Basic Skills level, skaters are ranked in a group, from first to last. In the ISI judging levels, scoring is much more complicated. No way am I going to attempt an explanation here!



6. Should I eat food before my program?
   From Ice Girl: It depends. Do you get sick easily? If you eat before going on a really fast spinney ride, do you come out of the ride almost puking? If this is the case, then don’t eat right before skating. Eat a good, healthy breakfast and drink lots of water, then give your stomach time to settle. Go to the bathroom before you go on warm-up ice.



7. I am very nervous, what does Ice Girl do?
   From Ice Girl: I run through my program in my head while listening to my music. I take deep slow breaths (this may sound crazy, but it’s sort of like meditation) and think positive thoughts like:
   
   
   
   • I’m ready and I can do this
   
   
   • My family and friends are here for me right now and are here to support me
   
   
   • I know I’m a good skater
   
   
   I also look at competitions as practice where I can get suggestions from not just my coach.
   
   From Ice Mom: Away from the rink and well before competitions, I encourage Ice Girl to think about why she loves skating. I ask her to think about a time when she skated well. What went right? How did she feel? How did she create that situation? I call it her Happy Skate. On the drive to competitions, I ask her to visit her Happy Skate.
   
   Also, the only thing I ever tell Ice Girl before she competes is, “I love you.” Everything else (skate well, have fun, etc.) is too loaded and she’ll start to overthink my words.

Next, (sorry about all of this), some other generic questions.
no biggie

1. Should I buy a spinner? What spins can you do on it; I just got into Freestyle 1.
   From Ice Girl: Yes, buy a spinner. Mine helped me center all of my spins
   almost all spins can be done on a spinner (I do camels on it) I don’t recommend laybacks or hair cutters on the spinner. Congratulations on getting into Freestyle 1!!!!!
   WARNING: SPINNER WILL NOT BE EASY FOR THE FIRST FEW WEEKS



2. Maxiflex? My teacher has been stretching me for my spiral and it hurts very much; would the Maxiflex help?
   From Ice Girl: Yes, it helps, if you do it regularly. Don’t over do the stretching, though. Trust me, that hurts a lot!!!! I’m not that flexible but the Maxiflex is helping me a lot.



3. Also, along with 2b, help with spiral, Ice Girl?
   From Ice Girl: Spirals...hmm...stretch often and even before practice. I’m still trying to get my spiral high enough. Just be patient; it will come. It does take a while. Realize that for a spiral to count, it has to be level, which means it has to look like a T.

Hope this helped! I bet you'll do great! Congratulations on being in advanced freestyle!

From Ice Mom: Do you have more tips for Alexa or other new skaters? Add 'em to the comments!

How-to: 11 Tips for Figure Skating Club Fundraising

Quote for inspriation:
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
- Thomas Edison

I recently sat down with E.C., a member of a Wis. figure skating club and a fundraising goddess. I’m serious. This woman wrangled a scooter from a local car dealership for a raffle. E.C. has mad skills.

I have no skills. When people mention fundraising, I try to change the subject. What started as an interview turned into Ice Mom’s crash course in fundraising. E.C. told me that I had just three weeks to get items for a Basic Skills Competition and I’d better hit the streets right away.

So, I did. People have a way of doing whatever E.C. tells them to do. She’s intense.

Ice Dad drafted the donations letter. You can have it, too. Just change the yellow bits.

I e-mailed the donations letter to a bunch of businesses and hand-delivered it to others. E.C. says hand delivering it is best. “Make it a point to hand-deliver the letter,” she said. “And then follow-up two or three weeks later. [Businesses] are more likely to donate if they remember your face.”

I was pretty nervous when I went to the first couple of businesses, but people were pretty nice. The way I started to look at it was: this is great promotion for their business and people are likely to visit their establishment as a result.

Here’s what I got:

• Two $50 gift certificates from a sporting goods shop


• A Packers signed football


• A Longaberger basket


• Tickets for four to a water park


• Two six-packs of local beer, plus t-shirts and glasses (adults-only raffle item)

Not bad for a bunch of e-mails and a bit of effort. I had only three weeks and I’ve slacked off the last two. E.C. starts the fundraising months before the event. “I always say you can’t start too far out from the event,” E.C. said.

“I usually start five to six months out," she said. "For our small ice show I raised $3,200. That’s just cash donations. For our test session I get major sponsors and get their names out there.” E.C.’s club uses the donated money to pay for transporting, feeding, and housing test session judges.

E.C.’s Eleven Fundraising Tips

1. Believe that you can get funds, raffle items, etc. You can. [Ice Mom: if I can do it, it can’t be that hard.]


2. Offer recognition. Make sure that you include donor business cards in participant gift bags, post their names in the rink, announce their gift over the loudspeaker, and include them on event promotional materials (t-shirts, programs, radio announcements). Keep recognizing them in other events. “All year round we recognized the car dealer at every event,” E.C. said. “We announced their business and said that we wanted to thank our past supporters.”


3. Spread it around. “You can’t just keep going to the same businesses for every event,” E.C. said. “You have to mix it up.”


4. Think big. Don’t be afraid to ask for a big-screen T.V. from a local appliance store or a scooter from a car dealership. E.C. lives in a small town of under 20,000 residents. She’s fearless, yeah, but look at what she’s raised for the club.


5. Go for the non-traditional donors. E.C. took a picture of smiling skaters, all of whom wore braces. She sent the photo to the orthodontist for a donation. Of course, he ponied up. “Look at who benefits from your children and approach them,” E.C. said.


6. Ask the little guys. Sometimes a coffee shop might be able to give just a bag of roasted beans. That’s great. Bundle it in a basket with the $10 manicure gift certificate and the $5 bakery certificate. Call it a pampering day basket and raffle it off.


7. Ask the independent sales reps. Mary Kay, Pampered Chef, Longaberger, and other at-home sales associates often like to make baskets for these events. Put their cards in the gift bags.


8. Go through the local yellow pages. “I went through it page-by-page and started my business list that I keep as an Excel file,” she said.


9. No money? How about a service? “The local UPS store wouldn’t give us a cash donation, but they printed our flyers for free,” E.C. said.


10. Go in person. It’s harder to say no to a real person in front of you, she said. E.C. prints out 200 letters and takes a day off work to deliver them all. The ones she doesn’t see in person, she e-mails.


11. Give back. Club members should give back to the community. Organize a pet toy drive for the local pet shelter. Skaters can take to the ice if they bring a chew toy or cat nip mouse. Over Winter Break, skaters can shovel sidewalks for the elderly. Call the media and make sure the community sees that money spent on skating does more than reduce ice fees.

E.C.’s goldmine for donations: state or local sports teams, water parks, hotels, bed & breakfasts, golf courses, wineries, mom-and-pop shops, independent sales reps., hospitals, and medical professionals.

I dipped my toe in the water for fundraising and it wasn’t as scary as I’d thought. Be bold and fearless and you might be as successful as E.C.

Did I mention that E.C. lives in a town with a population of 20,000? If E.C. can do it, we all can do it.