Can You Help This Mom? Inappropriate Figure Skating Music

This question comes from, um, a friend. Not me. A friend. Let's call her, um, Mice Mom, er, Nice Mom.

So. Nice Mom's husband wants, um Nice Girl, to figure skate to some music that Nice Mom and Nice Girl think is just...wrong.

Ice Dad, I mean, Nice Dad says that we spend so much money on figure skating that he deserves to pick Nice Girl's figure skating music just once. This is something we have to, I mean Nice Mom and Nice Girl have to really consider because Nice Dad deserves a voice in her music, too.

Help me. I mean, help my friend.

Suggestion #1: Theme song from Curb Your Enthusiasm.

For those of you who are not familiar with the HBO show from Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm is about a clueless idiot, Larry, who says naughty things to nice people. He is socially inappropriate and not a role model, Ice Dad. I mean, Nice Dad.


Click here to listen to the theme song. It's heavy on the tuba and is just...wrong...


Suggestion #2: Theme song from Dexter.

Showtime's TV show, Dexter, is about a serial killer who kills serial killers. Despite the violent theme, I really, really like this show.

However, Nice Dad, that does not mean that a serial killer's theme song should be used as your daughter's figure skating music!

Click here to listen to the theme song and watch the opening credits.

Suggestion #3: Theme song from Halloween.

Halloween is the scariest horror movie of all time, in my opinion. I don't watch horror movies, but just listening to the music completely creeps me out.

Click here to listen to the theme song.

So. Help me out here, people. I mean, help out Nice Mom. We all know that these songs are not appropriate figure skating music. Let's come up with a ton of reasons why Nice Dad is totally wrong. Please.

Have a question for Ice Mom or the Advisory Board? Know more than Ice Mom and want to write a guest post? Have an idea for a post? E-mail me! icemom.diane@gmail.com. 

Can You Help this Mom? Figure Skating Music That's NOT for Princesses

As always the readers are very generous with their music ideas. Check out the comments for great suggestions!
 
I cracked up in my cubicle when I received this plea:

[I need] age-appropriate music and costumes that aren’t Disney!



[Dear daughter] is 7, turning 8 next year, and competing in Canada at a fairly low level [...] The time has come to choreograph a new program and DD’s [dear daughter's] coach ( who we love ) loves Disney.

I cannot do Disney any more. And at every competition there are several girls skating to various Disney Princess songs. Ugh.


I would love other suggestions because if I don’t up with one, she’s going to be skating to Disney. Again.

I suggested that DD skate to a Disney villain, because I think that Cruella deVil on the medal stand with Snow White and the Little Mermaid would crack me up. Man, I need more coffee. Or less.

Can you help this mom? If you have music suggestions, please put them in the comments. And, for the love of Pete, not The Candy Man or Puff the Magic Dragon. We can't have everyone at the rink try to break the kid's CD. She'll cry.

Do you have a question for Ice Mom or the Advisory Board? Do you have an idea for a post? Better yet, are you an expert at something - like airbrushing dresses (hint, hint)? Why not write a guest post? E-mail me at icemom.diane@gmail.com

How to: Pick Figure Skating Program Music

1. It’s time for Ice Girl to have new music for her long program and we’re all relieved. Don’t get me wrong – Ice Girl’s current music is pretty darn cool (Laura’s Zest from Project Runway). However, it’s been a year and it’s just not as zesty as it used to be.
   
   So, Ice Coach e-mailed me to start the process. Every coach is different, but here’s how our music selection process goes:
   
   1. Ice Coach says, “We need music.”
   2. I open up Amazon and our library system’s online catalog
   3. My Amazon search terms: Boston Pops, Cincinnati Pops, movie soundtrack
   4. Poke around Amazon, click on composers, follow Amazon recommended titles
   5. Check to see if the CD is available in our library system, requesting it from different libraries
   6. Enter search terms in library: pops, movie soundtrack (limited results)
   7. Collect CDs from library
   8. Listen to CDs in van with Ice Girl, a mini-notebook, and pen. Listen to some selections, pass over others
   9. Create a mix CD to give to coach
   10. Final decision: coach
   Some skaters or skater moms download MP3s from Amazon (pricey; I know a woman who spent $40 doing this). Others create mix CDs from their own collections. Coach’s input. I know a skater who spent a lot of time making a mix CD for her coach. None of the selections was appropriate, the coach said. The skater was pretty sad about this, but the coach had something specific in mind for the skater. Ultimately, it’s the coach’s decision which selection is the best for the skater, possible choreography, and the level. However, having input and collaboration makes the skater feel better about skating over and over to the same music for the next year. And, let’s face it: we all know the music that makes us cringe at the rink. Please comment: How do you and your coach select music? I expect everyone is different and it would be nice to share your process in the comments section.

Update: I think we have a winner! It looks like Ice Girl will skate to a mix of music from the French film Amelie. You haven't seen that film? I tell you, it's awesome. Yes, it has subtitles, but it's very, very good.

Figure skating music: why won't that stupid CD play at the rink?

A big discussion in rinks where Ice Girl skates is what brand of CD-R works in the worst CD players in the coldest rinks.

It turns out that CD players don’t like cold temperatures. These players skip around on some music, or worse, refuse to play music at all. I know people who bring their own warm, reliable CD players to freestyle sessions in case the rink’s CD player won’t play their music.

Others have a system based on the CDs themselves. I burn multiple copies of Ice Girl’s music on whatever CD is cheapest at Walgreen’s. I’ve noticed that the music on the Maxell CDs is the most unreliable and anecdotal evidence bears this out. A person who often plays music for the skaters told me that if a CD fails in the rink’s player, it’s usually a Maxell. I’ve burned copies of Ice Girls’ music on Memorex, which my music-playing source says works pretty well in most rinks.

The best medium, according to my source, is Imation. Those discs will play in every player, no matter how cold the rink is, my source said.

That person also provided me with some strategies for getting music to play. The source said that warming a disk inside a jacket will often fool the player into thinking it’s warm and the music will play. However, there’s a risk that the music will skip, too. I’ve even heard talk of bringing a heating pad to competitions to warm the CDs.

Is this madness? I’ve tried reading up on CD players, but the only thing I found out was that some don’t play well in the cold. I found nothing on cold temperatures and the CDs themselves. Some CDs copy more faithfully than others. I read that Imation has a better BLER (block error rate) than other brands. Newer players forgive BLER more readily than older players, too. Unfortunately, it’s right about there that the articles I read became so filled with numbers that they were more data than prose and I stopped reading.

The bottom line: I don’t care if it’s all hooey. I’m going to run those Imation discs to ground this weekend and burn a few for Ice Girl. Heck, I’ll burn incense over the disc and give it a blessing, too. I'd do the hokey-pokey if I thought it would help.

However, I am not going to bring a heating pad to a competition, I swear. But, well, my back is starting to hurt. I guess loading the heating pad into the van isn’t nuts, is it? I mean, for health reasons.

What do you think? Do folks at your rink have rituals and rites for playing discs successfully? Do you know of an unbelievably reliable CD-R brand? Share the wisdom!

Update: I found the Imation CD-Rs at Target last night: a package of 10 for $3.99. I burned Ice Girl's music and it played fine at home. The real test will be the cold rink where she skates on Wednesday mornings.

Music: Ice Girl's choice is Laura's Zest

I could spend this entire space typing about how much Ice Girl's skating improved after 20+ hours of ice time over spring break. Don't roll your eyes - this is a kid who walks into walls on dry land. This is a kid who falls up stairs and breaks two fingers doing it. I could brag about her skating, her progress, etc., but I won't. It's just a pleasure to watch her excel at some sport - any sport.

Instead of blathering on, I'm going to talk about music. Ice Girl and I are huge Project Runway fans. We loved Laura Bennett's designs from Season 3, but really, her show music was so, so cool.

Ice Girl's coach approached me with a smile the other day and gave Ice Girl and me an assignment: find some instrumental program music. Immediately, Laura's Zest, Bennett's show music from Spot on Sounds came to mind. Wanna hear it? Go here.

Ice Coach needs to pare the almost five-minute song down to a little over one minute (about 1:10). I sent her here for Audacity free music editing software.

Anyway, listen to the music and let me know what you think. Ice Girl and I think it's hip, yet retro. Very, very cool.