Announcement: MySkatingMall.com's Grand Opening on Friday

Please note: Ice Mom does not accept funding for posts like these. All advertising is separate from editorial content.  I'm posting this because I think that Ryan Jahnke's MySkatingMall.com is a great idea that benefits buyers, sellers, and clubs.
 
I’ve written it countless times: figure skating is expensive. I’ve also written that Learn to Skate is the only bargain in figure skating.

Turns out, I’m wrong.

U.S. World Team Member (2008) and PSA Master Rated Coach Ryan Jahnke launches MySkatingMall.com on Friday, April 26. It’s an online figure skating bargain hunter’s paradise. You’ll be able to shop for used figure skating items and see listings from all over the world. Jahnke has also partnered with some vendors who will sell new skating items.

You benefit because you save money on figure skating purchases. Your figure skating club can benefit, too. If your club registers with MySkatingMall.com, a percentage of every purchase you make will go to your club. Click here to read my complete review of MySkatingMall.com.

Save even more. As an Ice Mom reader, you can receive a 50% off of all listing upgrades if you list items for sale on MySkatingMall.com in the next week. Basic listings are completely free, but listings can be upgraded to show on the front page and at the top of the item's category for enhanced visibility.

Just type this code in the discount box provided at the end of the selling listing form: MSM

Ask your figure skating club to register. Clubs can benefit from sales at MySkatingMall.com. It’s an easy process and a painless fundraiser. Five to 90 percent of every purchase raises money for the skating club or team of the buyer and seller. Skating groups can benefit from every purchase and sale their members make! It is completely free for skating clubs and teams to register at http://www.myskatingmall.com/clubs!


Good luck with your site, Ryan!

Have any of you tried MySkatingMall.com? What did you think? Did you stop over there to browse? What was your impression? Share your thoughts and suggestions about how to make that site better in the comments. (I'll forward them to Ryan.)

Do you have a question for the Ice Moms? Are you a figure skating expert who would like to appear on the Wednesday Ask the Expert feature? Do you have a marvelous idea for a post? Excellent. Please e-mail me at icemom.diane@gmail.com.

Ice Mom’s Guide to Sewing: All about Cutting

This post is part of Ice Mom's Sewing Guide.
Other posts in this series: All about Patterns, All about Fabrics, How to Dye Silk for Fabric Skating Skirts, Altering Your Growing Skater's Figure Skating Dress, Laying out the Pattern.

Like adjusting the pattern and laying it out, cutting is one of those unglamorous steps that you shouldn’t rush.  I have my cutting table in the center of my front room, a movie in the DVD player, two stools, one on either side of the table, and plenty of good light.

If you haven’t copied, adjusted and laid out your pattern yet, you need to do that first. Instructions assume that you’ve done that.

Make sure your shears or rotary cutter is sharp. Never let your kids or husband run off with your sewing scissors to cut paper, plastic, or sheet metal. I buy a ton of cheap scissors and plant them in every room of the house, sometimes two pair. This prevents anyone getting the ridiculous idea of using my good Ginghers for anything. I even keep those cheap scissors in my sewing room's scissor drawer, just in case anyone gets the very dumb idea of grabbing my Ginghers for something. I buy the scissors at the back-to-school sales in August, when they're at a deep discount. Ginghers, however, are never cheap.

If you don't remember the last time you've had your scissors sharpened, it's time to take them in. Call your sewing store to find out who does them and how long you'll have to be parted from your scissors.

Materials:

• Sharp shears
• Rotary cutter and cutting mat (optional)
• Sharp snips
• Tailor’s chalk or disappearing fabric marker

Method:

1. Make sure everything's flat. Fabric and pattern pieces need to be as flat as possible against the table. If they’re not, unpin, re-adjust, and re-pin. You’ll be wasting your time if the fabric is lumpy. It won’t fit right.
2. Cut along the pattern cut lines. If you’re using shears, keep the bottom blade as flat against the table as practical. Try to cut very smoothly and do not lift up the fabric as you cut. If you’re using a rotary cutter, make sure your mat is under your pattern pieces. Roll the blade like a pizza cutter along the pattern’s cut lines.
3. Cut notches. When you arrive at a notch, stop. Using your snips, snip along the triangle and up past the triangle’s point. The idea here is that you’ll extend the triangle’s side to about double its size. Come from the other direction to cut the other side of the triangle. You’ll be making a big X in the fabric. The reason you’re doing this is so that you won’t have to lift the fabric. If you need room for your shears to cut along the rest of the cutting line, use your snips to cut a few inches. Those inches will give you room to use your shears. (Note: sometimes seamstresses will cut through the notch and make a little snip into the seamline at the center of the notch. I do this in regular garment sewing where I have a more generous 5/8-inch seam allowance. With skating dresses, I rarely have that much of a seam allowance, so I just cut the triangles instead of risking cutting past the seam allowance.)
4. Leave it on the table. When you have your piece cut, don't move it yet. Remember those marking holes you reinforced with paper tape when you adjusted and traced your pattern? This is a great time to use your tailor’s chalk or disappearing fabric marker to mark the spot. If you’re using the marker, remember that you can’t iron over the mark because it will become permanent.
5. Unpin the pattern piece. I usually fold the piece and the fabric in half and stack them in order according to the pattern piece’s number or letter. That way, they’ll be in order when I want to sew them and I can refer to the pattern piece if I have questions.
6. Finish cutting all pieces. Mark, unpin, fold, and stack.
7. Keep some of your scraps. You’ll want them to practice on when it comes to sewing seams. If you have a serger, they’re great for running through the machine to make sure that your loops aren’t too loopy. I keep just a few scraps and throw the rest away - unless I so much fabric that I might be able to cut out a skirt panty, skirt, or extra pattern piece if I mess something up.

It’s pretty straightforward, but I want to encourage you to take your time. Rushing this or the other preparation steps will make for a poorly fitting garment.

Next time: sewing seams.

I have many talented seamstresses among my readers. Double-check me, please! Did I miss something? Do you do it better? Please comment so we can all benefit!
New seamstresses: leave your questions in the comments, too!

Do you have a question for Ice Mom or the Advisory Board? Terrific! Send me your questions! 
Are you a better seamstress than I am? Wonderful! Please e-mail me about writing a guest post.
Do you have some other question or concern? Great!
E-mail me at icemom.diane@gmail.com

Ask the Expert, Annette Thomas: Is Ballet for Figure Skaters Worth It?

This guest post comes from Annette Thomas, classically trained dance teacher and choreographer. Thomas is also author of the book Fundamentals of Alignment & Classical Movement for Figure Skaters. You can also visit her Web site at BalletForFigureSkaters.com. Readers who would like to purchase her beautiful, thorough, well illustrated manual can buy it at MySkatingMall.com. Five percent of every purchase through My Skating Mall will be donated to the purchaser's figure skating club.


Ice Mom: Why should figure skaters take ballet?
Annette Thomas: There is no other single off-ice conditioning class that has as much to offer the figure skater as classical ballet lessons. Classical ballet lessons provide strength & flexibility training, body awareness, balance techniques, mental focus, discipline, musicality and aesthetics all wrapped into one lesson.

Ice Mom: Is it worthwhile for recreational skaters to take ballet?
Annette Thomas: It is always worth taking classical ballet no matter what level of commitment a skater has or what their ultimate goals may be as classical ballet enhances the quality of the experience of movement itself.

Ice Mom: If I have a skater who is a Regional competitor, how many hours of ballet should she take each week?
Annette Thomas: Normally Regional competitors take 2 to 3 ballet lessons per week (meaning technique lesson which are 1/ ½ hours long and not in conjunction with practicing dance recital pieces.)

Ice Mom: If a parent is watching the family budget carefully, would you recommend that she spend her figure skating money on ice and coaching or cut back on those two and include ballet?
Annette Thomas: It depends on the skater and the coach. If a skater has an aversion (or thinks they do!) to ballet obviously this will be a waste of money to try and force a skater into “doing ballet”. Many coaches are skilled at much more than just teaching skating technique and I believe that a lot of skaters miss the complete picture of what their own coach has to offer them aesthetically. Having said that, taking a regular classical ballet lesson can only help to improve the value of all that the skater does on-ice.

Ice Mom: How should figure skating parents choose a ballet instructor, or will any ballet instructor be a good fit for a figure skater?
Annette Thomas: Choosing a ballet instructor is just like choosing a coach. As a parent you should try to observe a class with your skater, discuss the lesson with the instructor afterwards and then privately discuss with your skater what you and she/he felt about the lesson and the teacher. Very importantly there should be a true curriculum based on a syllabus and no practicing of recital pieces during the lesson time.
Please see my web page for further answers to this question:
 http://www.balletforfigureskaters.com/book/exerpts/ch5.pdf

Ice Mom: Is there a question I should have asked, but didn't?
Annette Thomas: Yes: “Is all ballet created equal?” Note that I have used the phrase “Classical Ballet” throughout my answers. This is because all ballet is not created equal. Taking lessons at recreational studios which are geared toward recitals more often than not teach ballet as choreography not as a method of technique. Teachers who teach ballet by observation (meaning just as they were taught in class as opposed to having had lessons in pedagogy) will only have a minimum of positive effect. Lyrical ballet will not help the skater at all because there is very little if any refined technique to it and there is no emphasis on strength training. Classical ballet has a true methodology which takes into account the training of the entire body, head, eyes, hands, torso, etc. in incremental portions which ingrain movement and musicality into the muscle memory. It takes into account the importance of the lower back and core muscles as the “fulcrum” of the body which needs to be trained slowly and carefully for maximum potential in both strength and flexibility. Classical ballet technique forms the body from the inside out so that the technique is safe and the dancer/athlete can be secure and confident in their actual abilities.

Questions for Annette Thomas:
Readers are invited to write questions for Annette to answer in the Comments section of this post. Annette has agreed to reply to them there. Some readers have sent in questions in advance. Those questions appear here.


Reader: When a mid-level skater has limited funds, how should it be distributed between on-ice, off-ice, and dance?
Annette Thomas: Distribution is a very individual consideration which you and your primary coach would have the priority in deciding as you discuss your skater's particular needs and what is available in your area.  Also the distribution should take into account the temperament and age of the individual skater. On-ice practice is obviously the main priority for a figure skater, but people categorize off-ice in many different ways; most often it boils down to “sports oriented” (strength training, plyometics etc.) and “artistry oriented” (ballet and other dance forms). If you have an excellent classical ballet school in your area and the teacher is willing to work carefully with the skaters’ needs, I think this is the best off-ice training available in one package. If not, you may have to distribute your off-ice time and funds between something such as Pilates and a ballet or modern dance class at a local studio (just opt out of the recitals if at all possible, because that can get very expensive!)

Reader: Why is it that some ballet teachers dislike it when their students start skating? I see that a lot in my rink and often the teachers will ask the skater to stop skating or ballet. They are serious about ballet, but not to the extent of making it a career. What do you tell the ballet teacher?
Annette Thomas: Like most teachers and coaches, ballet instructors want students whose main interest is their “subject.” Children today are often involved in so many activities that long-term focus and commitment are hard to find. Skaters usually take ballet lessons for their own agenda (to improve their skating), which can cause the ballet instructor to feel as though they are not in control of the learning process. Plus, skaters often have a very different sensibility when it comes to timing and movement in general, so it can be difficult for the average ballet instructor to work with skaters in the same class as non-skaters (this is why it is so important to have a ballet program at the rink). And finally, since both ballet and figure skating require tremendous amounts of commitment, energy and hard work, a ballet instructor may feel that they do not want to invest all of the mental and emotional energy required if they know that the student is more devoted to skating. It may sound selfish, but it is just human nature. I know coaches who feel the same way; when one of their skaters’ decides she likes gymnastics and wants to take it  more often…it can be frustrating to the coach as they now not only feel like “second fiddle” they also know that their skaters energies and time will be divided making it much harder for them to teach. It is a difficult situation on both sides as the teacher wants to teach in what they feel is the most productive manner possible and yet the student should never be felt to be rejected or “wrong” for choosing other things. I always tell my students “pick one or two things in your life and try to achieve excellence in them.”

As to what to tell your ballet instructor, you might try to interest him/her into working more “one on one” with your skater (via choreography, working at the rink etc.) so that they feel as though they are more a part of the process. 

Reader: My daughter is a young skater, just starting out, but has been taking ballet/dance since she was two. What should, if anything, we do differently now that she's skating? Should we be paying more attention to certain parts of dance? Will certain moves help more than others? Also, between ballet and gymnastics, which do you think helps with skating most?

Annette Thomas: If you, your daughter and your primary coach are satisfied with your daughter’s progress, I’d say to just continue with what you are doing. Gymnastics can be extremely hard on the body and I never recommend it (to dancers or skaters). It loosens the lower back and can permanently damage joints. Classical ballet will help your daughter strengthen her body as well help her to progress more quickly in her skating endeavors. If you can find a classical ballet studio that also teaches Character Dance, this would really be ideal to include in her studies.


© 2010 by Annette T. Thomas all rights reserved. Annette T. Thomas's answers are used with permission. 

 Want to take ballet or movement classes with Annette Thomas? She'll be teaching at the Pettit National Ice Center in Milwaukee this summer. (Artistry & Movement classes are for learning character dance/music appreciation and style.)
Her schedule: 
Tuesdays: 9-10 am medium/high ballet JUNE/JULY only, 10:15-11:15 am medium/high movement June/July only, 9-10 am low ballet AUGUST only, 10:15-11:15 am medium/high ballet AUGUST only, 11:30-12:30 medium/high artistry and movement AUGUST only, 3-4 pm medium/high artistry and movement, 4:15-5:15 pm low artistry and movement
Wednesdays: 3-4 pm medium/high ballet, 4:15-5:15 low ballet
Thursdays: 9-10 am low artistry, 10:15-11:15 am medium/high ballet

Do you have a question for Annette Thomas? Take this opportunity to Ask the Expert! You'll find her replies in the comments.

Do you have a question for the Ice Moms? Have you been thinking of a post you'd really like to see? Are you an expert and would like to contribute to the Ask the Expert feature? That's great. I love e-mail, so please contact me at icemom.diane@gmail.com. 

It’s Magic Glove Season. Stock up for the Summer

Happy spring! It’s time to walk Ice Dog outside again without worrying about slipping on the ice. It’s time to do yard work, Ice Dad. And it’s time to shop for magic gloves. At our local discount retail chain, those cheap, one-size-fits-all stretchy gloves – magic gloves – are 25 cents a pair. I bought 20 pair for $5.

If you’re new to figure skating, you’re thinking I’ve once again lost my mind. After all, that’s one big pile of gloves, Ice Mom. Well, kids lose gloves all the time. The gloves get holes. Figure skaters lend them to other figure skaters and they leave forever.

If you’ve been through a summer at the rink, you know that the only places that sell gloves in July are figure skating stores, and they’ll sell ‘em to you for $4 – 8 a pair. Let's do the math. 20 pair at $4 each is $80 worth of gloves. For my money, I'll take the ones on clearance, thanks.

When you find the gloves on sale, buy black ones. Resist the temptation to buy pink, purple, or patterned gloves. Yes, they’re cute, but when your skater loses one pink glove, she won’t have another one to match. Buy all black gloves and then losing one isn’t a big deal. Just match it up with some other black glove.

Black gloves are good, too, because they don’t show dirt like white gloves and your figure skater can wear them on warm-up ice at competitions.

So, happy spring, everyone! Don’t forget that this is your last time to buy gloves at a reasonable price for the next six months. Well, that is if you don’t live near me. I'm pretty sure I cleaned out the shops around here.

Update: From reader Jillybean, who offers a caution: You really shouldn't be borrowing other skaters' gloves because they might be wiping their noses on them.

Do you have a question for the Ice Moms? Do you have a great idea for a post you'd like to read? Are you an expert and want to write something for everyone's benefit? Wonderful! Please contact me at icemom.diane@gmail.com.

How-to: Tie Figure Skates

This guest post comes to you from Ice Coach. My blog, Ice Mom's Adventures in Figure Skating will move to IceMom.net on Saturday, April 3. Joining me in blogging will be Ice Coach, Ice Girl, and Synchro Mom. Together, we'll try to give you honest answers and occasional laughs as we look at figure skating from different perspectives. This guest post will give you a little introduction to what you might find on Ice Coach's blog.

Tying figure skates correctly is important because improperly tying skates could lead to injury and bad habits. The biggest issue of tying skates is making them tight. I have repeatedly seen new skating parents not tie skates tight enough. Their child gets on the ice; his or her ankles are falling inward and not supported at all. I also know of parents who thought they needed new skates or blades remounted because their child was having difficulty skating. When it came down to it, the solution was simply tying the skates tighter.

No socks. If you’re a competitive skater you should not be wearing socks in your skates. Socks can lead to blisters, which are no fun. What’s worse than socks? Bare feet. Bare feet lead to blisters and smelly skates. Skates should fit as snug to your foot as possible leaving little room for your foot to slide around. I recommend trouser socks; they are form- fitting and thick enough to wear multiple times without getting numerous holes. You can even get moisture wicking trouser socks.

Untie your skate all the way. (See photo above.) I have seen many people untie the first couple holes only. Make sure the laces are loose enough to easily slip your foot inside the boot. Start tightening the laces at the toe and work your way up the boot. Tie the skates tight, but not so tight they cut off your circulation. I always tie my skates as tight as I can pull and never have an issue with numb feet, and I always have enough bending room. New skates are a different story. You might want to only lace the top three hooks on new skates so you have room to bend.

No skate lace tighteners. Does anyone like these things? They seem like more of a hassle.  You can tie your skates faster and tighter by using your fingers.

Cris-cross the laces and wrap them around the fourth hook, the one closest to the lace holes. (See photo above.) I prefer wrapping them over the hook rather than under it, but you can go under to over, too.

Wrap the laces. (See photo above.) On the third hook, when you cross your laces, wrap them around each other a couple of times to keep them from slipping. Do this on the first hook as well.

Bunny ears. (See photo above) On the first hook, tie a bow. Take the bow’s right “bunny ear” and hook it around the first hook again and tighten it; do the same with the left “bunny ear.” Your skates should not slip.

Never wrap extra laces around your ankle or boot. If your laces are long enough to do this, they are too long. Buy a shorter pair. Skates should bend at the ankle; if you wrap laces around the top part of the boot it will prevent this.

Lace materials. If your laces still slip and you’re using 100% cotton blends, try a nylon/cotton blend. I personally prefer them and think they slip less. But I have others tell me that the cotton ones slip less. It just depends on what you like.

Tying your skates well will help prevent injury and is the first step to proper skating technique.

Do you have a suggestion about tying skates? Do you have problems with it? Let Ice Coach know what you're thinking in the comments! If you have other questions for Ice Coach, you can put them in the comments or e-mail her at IceCoach@IceCoach.net

As always, if you have a question for Ice Mom or the Advisory Board, please send it to me. If you have an idea for a post you'd like to see, let me know that, too. Are you an expert? Wonderful. I'm looking for figure skating experts. E-mail me if you'd like to write a guest post. icemom.diane@gmail.com 

Ask the Ice Moms: Dealing with Figure Skating Burnout

I’ve written about figure skating burnout before, but I think it’s a big topic that deserves a lot of text.


Here’s the reader’s question:

Just wondering if you have any advice for a little girl who still love skating and wants to skate every day, but is not her usual self on the ice (tired with some tears, missing her usual enthusiasm, no more smiles). I’m thinking of removing her from the ice for a week or so despite her coach’s unhappiness about it. Any help would be most appreciated!

From Pairs Mom, the mom to one-half of December’s Junior National Intermediate Pairs gold medal winners:

I have seen this happen among many skaters of all ages and levels. Does you have access to any type of club ice events or "team skating" such as Theater On Ice or Synchro at your rink? Sometimes when they are put in a group situation it changes the whole dynamic of a normally "individualized" sport. I have seen the enthusiasm come back in the singles skating because of the "group" skating.

Is your skater having to give up being involved in some other activity in order to be at the rink training? Girl Scouts, church activities for youth, school sports or clubs, choir, etc.? If so, then try to work out a compromise so she can be involved in both for awhile even if it means cutting back a little bit on the skating. On the other hand, it could be over-stimulation of being involved in too many activities that makes her too tired or stretched to enjoy her skating.

Get her to talk about it with you and just listen.

From Xan, figure skating coach, mom to a show skater, and blogger at Xanboni!

There are lots of reasons a child might lose enthusiasm for skating that aren't related to burn out. She might have had a bad fall and gotten scared; the coach might have said something coach-y to her that she took too much too heart and is now afraid of displeasing the coach. There might be issues with other skaters on the ice, or it might be entirely non-ice related. Talk to her classroom teacher at school and see if there are any issues there.

The coach is unhappy? Who cares? Has the coach expressed concern about the child's well being (I certainly hope so.) Maybe this family could exchange one or two practice sessions a week for one or two on-ice play dates with friends for a couple of weeks or a month, no practice or lesson required, so the little girl can find the joy in her skating again. Nationals are over, lol. We call this "early off season" and it's exactly the time to get back to the why and forget about the what and the how for a while.

From Kel, mom to a 9-year-old skater:

Instead of removing her from the ice for a week or so, I would decrease her weekly hours for a month or so. Hopefully she would be more anxious to get on the ice when she is there. Depending on the age, I would include the skater in filling out the next month's contract. I'd ask the skater what she wanted to do -- give her some control of her skating. Too bad the coach is unhappy -- I would hope that all coaches would want happy skaters.

From me, Ice Mom

As an education writer, I talk to all kinds of education experts about teaching and learning. In February Nathan Eklund, M. Ed., visited my office to record a series on teacher burnout. He used the clinical definition of it to explain that people can recognize the symptoms, treat them, and avoid burnout.

Eklund sited Herbert Freudenberger, who wrote in 1974:

 “Burnout is a state of exhaustion that results from working too intensely and without concern for one’s own needs”

What can I add? Freudenberger says it’s a clinical condition. I say take the time off that you've been considering and make sure she has a life outside the rink

What about you? Do you have advice for this mom? Should she give her skater some time away from the rink? How do you deal with figure skater burnout?

Hey! Do you have a question for the Ice Moms? Are you an expert and would like to guest post on the Wednesday Ask the Expert feature? Terrific! E-mail me at icemom.diane@gmail.com

10 Ways to Become Unpopular at the Rink

Friend and advisory board member R.H. once told me something like this:

The only people who are popular at the rink are those with no money and no talent.

Ouch. That seems harsh, R.H. However, I know people who have no money and kids with marginal skills who have made themselves wildly unpopular at the rink. I’m sure you know them, too.

1. The future Olympic parent. My basic skills figure skater is going to the Olympics. I can tell. My skater is amazingly talented and dedicated. Athletic ability runs in our family – we’re all gifted and we have our own trophy room. Well, yes, my figure skater’s been in Basic Skills for five years, but she’s pacing herself. Level Four is very, very challenging.
2. The solicitor. I hate to be the one to tell you, but as your friend, you should know that your skater’s figure skating coach doesn’t have good skills. She’s a low-level coach. If you’re serious, if your skater is ambitious, if you have a brain, you’ll switch to my daughter’s coach. You know, my skater’s figure skating coach passed her senior level whatevers and is rated a master fabuloso coach. All of her skaters go to nationals, at least twice. If you switched coaches, I’m sure your skater would have that jump by now. But, if you want to throw your money away, go ahead.
3. The golden ager. Back in the day, things were just great here. The sun was always shining outside, the ice was perfect, our figure skating club had so much money, everyone loved one another, and skating was practically cost-free. Ah, yes. Those were the days.
4. The expert. Judges, coaches, figure skating competition organizers don’t know what they’re doing. My skater is truly amazing, but the judges are against him. I tell you, judging is corrupt here. They’ll take just about anyone and give them a score sheet. Our figure skating coach is nice, but I don’t think that my skater has a tough enough program. I mean, he’s an advanced reader at school and in with students two grade levels above his. The coach should put my skater two levels up, too. He’s smart; he can handle it. And these figure skating competition organizers. Why would they set up the groups this way? Don’t they know that all of these kids are skating down? Didn’t they notice that kid at the last competition? I know he skated at a higher level. They’re stacking the deck on purpose so kids from their club win everything.
5. The club critic. If I were on the figure skating club’s board, things would be different. I can’t believe that the board wants us to pay more, volunteer more, and attend mandatory meetings. Isn’t that why we pay club dues? I pay for this, so I shouldn’t be expected to do anything further. That’s for the little people to do. I don’t have time for this. I need to get my nails done.
6. The parent of a gifted child. It took my figure skater just one lesson to land an Axel. Isn’t my skater fabulous? She’s only been skating three months and look! She already has her Axel. She’s working on her double Salchow, but, sadly, she only landed six last practice session. Your skater’s been working on her Axel, what? Eight months? Hmm. Yeah. Well, everyone at their own pace, you know. Not all kids are as talented as my skater. But, you know, she comes from a gymnastics and dance background. She was born at the barre, did I tell you? Funny story…
7. The agent. These low level figure skaters keep getting in my skater’s way. She can’t land her triple-twisty thing because of all these little kids. You know, she’s the only one who has ever landed that jump in the history of this club/this rink/this region/the world. We should have ice just for her because she’s so amazing. She’s the reason that all these little kids are joining the club, you know. They want to be just like her. The figure skating club should subsidize her skating because she brings so many of these annoying low-level skaters to the rink. She’s put this club on the map.
8. The rink stalker. So, who is your figure skater? Let me check my spreadsheet of all the skaters my daughter has ever competed against. Was she at this figure skating competition? Oh, yes, I see. It was last fall, No Test, and your skater placed third. Her scores were: 3, 3, 4, 3, 2. My daughter placed second out of eight skaters in that group. Want to see the photo? And two years ago, at that same competition, your daughter placed fifth in Basic 5. That time there were only five kids in the event. Oh, and here’s the photo. See? There’s my kid on the stand…
9. The sidelines parent/coach. Get your arms up, skater! Pull your legs in. That’s it. Now drop and give me five sit spins. Alright. Do your program. Quit wasting time! That program was terrible. Do it again. Watch me. This is how you should move your legs. I don’t care if your coach said something else. This is my money we’re talking about. Don’t whine to me about your pain. Wipe your nose, toughen up, and get moving.
10. The dream-on parent. Look, coach, I want my figure skater to place first at the figure skating competition next month. My skater should have new music and move up a level, too. No, no. I don’t have time to bring my skater to the rink for more lessons and practice. We can only get here every other Thursday, but this Thursday won’t work and neither will the next two. 

Wait! I forgot one!

The blogger. My husband has zero taste in music. Can you believe he wants our kid to figure skate to horror movie soundtracks? I should blog about him. My kid won't wake up. She's passed out in the van and people in the rink are waiting for her. I should blog about my kid, too. And you? Yeah, you in the blue. Don't tick me off, lady, 'cause I'll blog about you, too!

This isn't the definitive field guide to unpopular rink parents, but it's a start. If you can identify others, let's start a taxonomy in the comments!

Would you like to submit a question to Ask the Ice Moms? Do you have a question for Ice Mom, Ice Coach, or Ice Girl? Are you an expert and would like to share your knowledge? Want me to blog about you? E-mail me at icemom.diane@gmail.com.